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Kiwi
Wed 1st February 2012 13 comments
words get awfully heavy when they have to be constantly weighed.
and if i feel as though i can't toss around a good 'fuck', 'shit' or "jesus h. roosevelt christ on a pogo stick!" with a mate? we're not going to last very long...
and if i feel as though i can't toss around a good 'fuck', 'shit' or "jesus h. roosevelt christ on a pogo stick!" with a mate? we're not going to last very long...
Thu 2nd February 2012 @ 00:52
Comment from: heybartender
For the love of the gods man will you *please* talk to your flatmate about the heat?! And if not, will you give me his e-mail so I can?! HE HAS THE MONEY. Ask him for it.
Also, start being yourself with Mary Ann. You might be surprised at what she can handle. If not, it will simply fast-forward the inevitable. No sense bullshitting.
Also, start being yourself with Mary Ann. You might be surprised at what she can handle. If not, it will simply fast-forward the inevitable. No sense bullshitting.
Thu 2nd February 2012 @ 03:25
Heybartender has said more succinctly what I'll now ramble on about...
You have to be yourself whatever - my personal experience was 20+ years of adult life playing a bizarre game of "This moment the façade is..." I tried to be whatever I thought others thought I ought to be - it was a big big fucking waste of time, mental strain and emotionally a complete cul-de-sac. I'm still rebuilding my life now... old friends still post comments on Facebook and I think... "Oh Christ they still think x" and I have to either tell them, create situation to dispel myth or smile and ignore it (third option normally wins on about a 9:1 ratio)...
If it is going to work it has to work with you as you - if it ain't going to work... it ain't going to work... Sorry to be blunt but there is my position.
Personally - don't tell her... just start thinking IF I start to think I should say/do etc. THEN - ignore that and do what comes from the heart
You have to be yourself whatever - my personal experience was 20+ years of adult life playing a bizarre game of "This moment the façade is..." I tried to be whatever I thought others thought I ought to be - it was a big big fucking waste of time, mental strain and emotionally a complete cul-de-sac. I'm still rebuilding my life now... old friends still post comments on Facebook and I think... "Oh Christ they still think x" and I have to either tell them, create situation to dispel myth or smile and ignore it (third option normally wins on about a 9:1 ratio)...
If it is going to work it has to work with you as you - if it ain't going to work... it ain't going to work... Sorry to be blunt but there is my position.
Personally - don't tell her... just start thinking IF I start to think I should say/do etc. THEN - ignore that and do what comes from the heart
Thu 2nd February 2012 @ 08:50
It's a tricky process to reverse once begun, but I do agree that you have to find a way of dropping the 'spectatoring' (ie, watching and monitoring your behaviour) that you're currently engaging in, and just engaging in the moment with her. If you send the email letting her know that you've been doing this, it adds another layer of artificiality and strain to the proceedings, and (I think) that's more likely to doom things.
Take the risk and be yourself. As has been said here before, she may be more robust than you (and she, for that matter) thinks.
Good luck, buddy.
Take the risk and be yourself. As has been said here before, she may be more robust than you (and she, for that matter) thinks.
Good luck, buddy.
Thu 2nd February 2012 @ 10:26
Comment from: young at heart
at table-dominating volume about herself after the fourth or fifth glass.....is that not most of us unfetered and being ourselves??
heybartender has nailed it...square pegs and round holes and all that...
heybartender has nailed it...square pegs and round holes and all that...
Thu 2nd February 2012 @ 14:44
Comment from: looby
Thanks everyone for some very good advice which I take seriously. And I really will try to put it into practice.
YAH: I know, it was a bit hypocritical. As if I stay like a church mouse after the fifth pint.
YAH: I know, it was a bit hypocritical. As if I stay like a church mouse after the fifth pint.
Thu 2nd February 2012 @ 14:57
Hey looby, what exactly is the point of posting your thoughts like this for us to read and comment upon? Are you really wanting advice? You seem to me to be the sort of man who makes his own decisions so I'm confused about your motivation.
Thu 2nd February 2012 @ 20:11
Comment from: Homer
One caveat Loobs: as it stands, that email sounds like you're blaming Mary Ann for everything, as if it's her "fault" you can't share all those things with her, instead of it just being a regrettable state of affairs between two very different human beings. Don't be too brutal.
Thu 2nd February 2012 @ 21:20
Comment from: looby
N: Sometimes I just need to talk out loud and see how things sound with people whose opinions I take seriously. And getting things off my chest too, without necessarily asking for good answers (although that's what I always get).
Homer: Reading it back, it does sound a bit like that. I didn't mean it, and I certainly don't think anything's anyone's "fault". I'm just a bit concerned how it'll go when we're not in bed.
Homer: Reading it back, it does sound a bit like that. I didn't mean it, and I certainly don't think anything's anyone's "fault". I'm just a bit concerned how it'll go when we're not in bed.
Thu 2nd February 2012 @ 22:13
Comment from: Homer
Hmm, a long distance relationship where the sex is fantastic but you have nothing to talk about... No, never been there ;)
(Just be sure Mary Ann doesn't end up hating you as much as mine did!)
(Just be sure Mary Ann doesn't end up hating you as much as mine did!)
Fri 3rd February 2012 @ 06:47
All of life is a compromise of one sort or another,so even though most of us try to stick to some closely-held principles it's not always possible.
Of course you're a bit guarded in what you say to a woman, everyone is to a greater or lesser extent, because we want to impress, and it's easy to get it wrong. (This is a WOMAN we're talking about remember, detection of any male wrongness is built-in to their genes)
We all project subtly different personas according to our environment and companions of the moment. It doesn't mean you're a hypocrite, you're just selecting from your many character traits to suit.
Best of luck with M-A, whatever the outcome.
Of course you're a bit guarded in what you say to a woman, everyone is to a greater or lesser extent, because we want to impress, and it's easy to get it wrong. (This is a WOMAN we're talking about remember, detection of any male wrongness is built-in to their genes)
We all project subtly different personas according to our environment and companions of the moment. It doesn't mean you're a hypocrite, you're just selecting from your many character traits to suit.
Best of luck with M-A, whatever the outcome.
Sat 4th February 2012 @ 18:46
Comment from: looby
Thank you. Despite my misgivings which as I say are somewhat born of just a need to say them out loud, MA is what we would call round here a top lass.
The question that really bothers me, arising from your comment though, is why, ten minutes before it ended, were you not watching the latest entry in the catalogue of Scottish sporting defeats by the English?
The question that really bothers me, arising from your comment though, is why, ten minutes before it ended, were you not watching the latest entry in the catalogue of Scottish sporting defeats by the English?
Sat 4th February 2012 @ 19:10
Any time.
One of the minor(but not unimportant) reasons for moving 13,000 miles to this antipodean paradise, was to move to a country whose team not only occasionaly won something, but was actually recognised as the best in the world. GO THE ALL BLACKS.
Watching Scotland getting hammered is not really my idea of sport. Anyway while that disaster of a Calcutta Cup was being played (and lost) in the UK, we were watching NZ beat everyone (especially England) at the Wellington 7s.
Give MA a kiw kiss from me.
(A kiwi kiss is like a french kiss,but reversed)
One of the minor(but not unimportant) reasons for moving 13,000 miles to this antipodean paradise, was to move to a country whose team not only occasionaly won something, but was actually recognised as the best in the world. GO THE ALL BLACKS.
Watching Scotland getting hammered is not really my idea of sport. Anyway while that disaster of a Calcutta Cup was being played (and lost) in the UK, we were watching NZ beat everyone (especially England) at the Wellington 7s.
Give MA a kiw kiss from me.
(A kiwi kiss is like a french kiss,but reversed)
Tue 7th February 2012 @ 09:57
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