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  Fri 30th October 2015

Partly in the light of Isabelle's comment, and partly because I thought it might be worth trying to have a bit more patience in this internetted age, I texted Naomi tonight.

Hello Naomi, I hope it's not too late to say this but we had a lovely night and we got on, and the acid test, I don't think either of us were struggling for anything to say. So just a suggestion -- do you fancy going out again? X

Hi, I enjoyed myself but as you predicted I'd like us to just be friends but I know that's not what you're looking for. I'd like us to stay in touch and go out but it's whether you are OK about how I feel. I'm busy this weekend but let me know and we could meet up again sometime which I would like. Looby -- you are a one-off, sweet, honest and entertaining. Thanks for the message and hopefully see you again. If you would like to connect on Facebook it's [...]

Thank you for being so honest and for your kind compliments. But I'm not really looking for a friend. All the best x.

Ah ok I understand. I sincerely hope you find someone who is lovely. You deserve it and as they say -- there is someone for everyone. Hugs x

Yes, Naomi, and as they don't ever say, "Look, I just don't fancy you," the modern form of which is paper-thin, unwelcome compliments, and then an offer of Facebook.

6 comments

Comment from: [Member]

Have you considered discounting anyone who’s on FB?

Sat 31st October 2015 @ 12:57
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

I’ve thought of going on a kinkier site where the aims and objectives are a bit clearer, but they’re a bit offputting, and whilst I am tremendously fascinated by the hem-thigh interface, there is a bit more to it than that.

Sat 31st October 2015 @ 18:32

I thought she handled it with real grace and dignity. If you’re going to be shown the door, I can’t think of a better way for it to happen. I think that’s part of what growing old teaches you: grace and kindness.

Don’t bother with the kinkier sites. You like the chase. Admit it.

Mon 2nd November 2015 @ 12:27
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Yes, I think we’ve both come out with dignity intact.

The photos on the kinkier sites are generally the opposite of what I find erotic.

Woman in a black and white shift dress standing next to a Modernist painting in a gallery = correct.

Parted thighs in close-up = incorrect.

Mon 2nd November 2015 @ 13:03
Comment from: Suzy Southwold [Visitor]

Having tried to tear EOPS a new one, a few weeks ago, in this case I agree with him. She was being kind, Looby, and there’s precious little of that in the world.

Mon 2nd November 2015 @ 20:17
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

She has been kind and tactful – and also evasive. I really don’t want all these pointless compliments that preface a refusal. It makes it worse – so I’m so “lovely” and “funny” and all the rest of it – yet that’s not enough to outweigh my lack of physical attractiveness? They’re not compliments to me. She means well but I fucking hate it at the end of a date when they start saying nice things about you.

Mon 2nd November 2015 @ 21:45


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looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person


M / 59 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.


There are plenty of bastards who drink moderately. Of course, I don't consider them to be people. They are not our comrades.
Sergei Korovin, quoted in Pavel Krusanov, The Blue Book of the Alcoholic

I am here to change my life. I am here to force myself to change my life.
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The more democratised art becomes, the more we recognise in it our own mediocrity.
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Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
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The working man is a fucking loser.
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The Comfort of Strangers

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