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Enid Blyton, but with cider and marijuana
5 comments
I find aspiring to death a lot more dignified than aspiring to be looked after.
I thought you didn’t believe in love? It would seem the lone wolf has found his she-wolf.
Ha! Anti-spam approval code is HRC. Our next president!
My gut instinct, without the checks and controls, and overloooking my incredulity at myself in saying it, is to shout it out “I love you Wendy and I want everyone to know I do.”
That text I sent her, which I then had to dismiss – “I love you Wendy. I love you in every sense of that word.” It’s actually true. I think about her all the time. I love her as a friend and I always will, but I want to love her as a lover. She’s clever, fearless, articulate, witty, kind, a good pisstaker. She’s also effortlessly sexy and I have long, narrative sexual fantasies about her. She dresses so well, I just can’t help but rake my eyes over her when we meet. Yes, I am genuinely appreciative of the way that she dresses, but there is also pure lust in my look. She is so beautiful, and I desperately want so much to stroke and kiss her and feel all of her next to me. I am smitten, yes.
Then the rational side kicks in and I realise it’s all one-sided though. She likes my company but she hasn’t anything remotely like the same intensity of feeling towards me as I have towards her. Always the same, this accursed asymmetry of feeling. It’s no good loving someone who doesn’t love you. I value our friendship immensely, but it is ragingly frustrating that I can’t show her any of the limitless amount of love and affection I have for her. I am as stupid as Trina, imagining that I can coax something out of her that at present she doesn’t feel.
Do you know, it’s actually worse when you do say it, or see it in print. Once admitted to oneself, it can’t be retracted. I’ve just given myself a burden.
Did you ever think that if you finally did bed Wendy that it’d be a colossal letdown? I’m just wondering, i’ve had a few of those where i chased and chased and begged and pleaded and cajoled and when it finally happened i sat back and thought, hmmm that wasn’t what i’d thought it be, it’s just a thought, maybe sometimes it’s better to be friends or have your affection unrequited… of course that’s a load of fucking bollocks now innit? lol
and i do appreciate the kind words on the Suburban Surrealist post, i’m aware that the subject matter and style isn’t for everyone (i like to think it’s for those who have lived a bit and have impeccable taste) and though like you i don’t do it for awards or adulation or to turn it into some sort of career it’s still alright to have some people actually enjoy it, much as i enjoy reading this space, i don’t actually read many blogs because most or boring and predictable but this one is quite deviant and fun, which is what i like… keep up the good work sir.
I’d like to try it with her though :) Wanking does get very formulaic after a while. The orgasms can be pretty good but it’s more interesting and unpredicatable with someone else. If she were as inventive and fearless in sex as she is socially and with words, it would be pretty good. And I do fancy her very much, so there wouldn’t be any “difficulties".
I had this absolutely incredible orgasm when I was in bed with Kim once when she started wanking, and so I did too. It was almost indescribably intense, and I definitely had this strange blurring of how I felt about her and how I fancied her and everything else about her, all in that lovely orgasm.
And thanks – I’ll take “deviant and fun” :)
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