Lost property

Nice of Stu to let you off the hook like that. But you were contrite and sincere about it. No reason to torment you further.

Can’t take a compliment, can you? Makes you uncomfortable? Me, too. Where I was raised, we are lead to believe that people complimenting you are just being charitable. That there’s no real truth in being told someone wants to spend time with you.

Maybe Kim loves you like a brother. There’s always that joyless classification.

I honestly don’t know what to say about intellectual leagues that doesn’t sound patronising, but I really think it’s so much less important than people worry about. In Harvey, Elwood says at one point: “‘In this world, Elwood, you must be oh, so smart; or oh, so pleasant.’ Well, for years I was smart; I recommend pleasant.”

The data point I always think of is the cleverest person I know, who also happens to be the clever person I know *of*, and I get the feeling that the company of clever people being terribly clever bores him rigid. Certainly he’s at his most genial - a real gentleman of the old school, but prone to black moods that have dogged his entire life - when he’s not in his most academic company.

Being clever is a bit like being rich: above a certain point, it might get you further - in a career? in an argument? into the empyrean of abstract thought? - but I’ve never seen it make people happier, or more fun to be with.

Like EoPS, i have an internal mistrust of compliments - but rather than feel compliments come from a desire to be charitable, i believe they come from a desire to manipulate – they compliment me because they want something. This leads to mistrust and walls. i’m still pretty bad at this, but at least recognize my own wiring…

Exile –
Everyone’s been very tolerant about my errant night and has assured me not to be concerned about it. Perhaps I’m suffering from somethng I’m quick to criticise others for – imagining you’re more important to everyone than you are.

SB –
I always feel that such a generous compliment destroys the mystique of a friendship, in which such things should almost never be said. I feel I’ve got something to live up to now.

Elwood is dead right though.

DF –
I think my friend was being genuine rather than manipulative, but yes, I am sometimes rather suspicious of compliments. I’d rather have constructive, practical criticism of my behaviour.

Compliments… yes… what are they really thinking? Hmmm?

I’ll lower the tone, shall I. Maybe he wants to bum you.

Ah yes, I forgot the possibility that my constantly smouldering male sexuality, combined with the heady atmosphere of the loud music, the darkened room, and the pheronomoned air, might have turned him… giddy.

No, me neither F – I just nod my head uncommittally and change the subject.

*reads your reply again* … everyone else, should I tell him?

confused.com :)