Dismissed

Got in this morning and saw the headmistress I had two dates with last year had reappeared on the dating site. After our second meeting she emailed me to say that she was sorry but she wasn't over her husband yet and apologised for any implication that she was leading me on. That is decent and honest.

Seeing that fifteen months has passed, I thought it might be worth contacting her again, so I sent a polite email, wondering if she remembered meeting me, telling her my girls had gone to Sixth Form, asking after her, and saying it would be a pleasure to hear from her again.

Yes of course I remember you! Thank you for the message.

[some boring shite about her children, because I mentioned mine so as not to appear too eager]

I dipped my toe cautiously back into this site a few weeks ago and saw you here – and of course I received your note in February,

It wasn't a "note", it was a Valentines card made from one inch by one inch post-it notes which she had to peel off to read the full message, which I delivered to the pub in which she's a regular, not knowing her address, on 14th February, a day on which I could hardly afford the bus fare.

which was very flattering, thank you. However, in both cases, I decided not to contact you. I really enjoy your company but don’t think it would work for me in a romantic sense. Which is why we’re both here isn’t it?

Good luck looby – you deserve it!

I would normally assume that that means "I don't fancy you," but at the end of our first date we were snogging at the bus stop, and while she was still on the bus she texted me to say "Lovely night. Can we start the next one how we ended it?" We met the following Tuesday. I said "Could I ask that you wear that blue dress again?"

I went to hers. Immediately I was inside her door we started snogging. She's taller than me and I found it a turn-on to have to tilt my head up slightly to kiss her as I pulled up the blue dress and ran my fingers across her knickers. She cooked me dinner and we went to bed and had as successful a fuck as you can have on the second date. I told her honestly that she's gorgeous, without mentioning the modern abomination of a shaved cunt.

So "romantically" can't mean "sexually." But women talk in code all the time. Another rejection. I don't what the fuck more I've got to do. Stick with Trina, and see relationships as a form of commerce, successful in a disabused way.