Gay Nazi Sex Vicar in Schoolgirl Knickers Vice Disco Lawnmower Shock!
« In a school, I make lumpy custardI could have done that »

Five and seven

  Thu 25th March 2021

Last weekend, Mel suggested her coming over and staying for two nights. "We could relax a bit more." I smilingly acceded to the suggestion for as long as she could see my face, then let it unmask into worry in the kitchen. Is it now that the little irritations start? The sexless "tiredness"?

In fact, the weekend didn't seem a moment too long. Mel's spent most of the past thirty years in Greece, so I overcooked us a spanokopitta, which came out rather dry and spongy. She'd said that the oven was fast, so I turned the heat down and left it in longer, but in future I'll just follow the recipe.

It didn't matter at all. Afterwards, she put on the shoes, and my other investments. We turned up the heating, which, handily for lovers, is included in the rent here. She looked down at her tits, bemused. She doesn't find herself as sexy as I do.

Reporting this to Kim after she'd left, Kim said "so, looby, are you going to have your Boring Years now? Stable girlfriend, own flat?"


I went to the bingo and raffle afternoon yesterday and sat with some of the other rezzies in my block. I was nervous about how I'd fit in, and felt scrutinised at first, but as the chicken legs and chocolate rolls kicked in everyone relaxed.

We're not allowed to sit in the communal lounge, so we're all in the right angle of a corridor instead. Six women, two blokes. "Oh!" said Keith. "So you've come for your initiation then?" Carol juggled her tits when 88 came up, and I said "ey up, double trouble". "Don't make me jealous!" said Lena. Brenda farted as I was going to get one of my prizes. "Was that you?" I said. "Don't mistake me for a lady, love." I wondered if we were being secretly filmed by Ken Loach.

They knew all the phrases for the numbers, a folk knowledge that will die out soon, with words like "fat" and "legs" being censored as mechanical numbers-only bingo takes over. I was taught several new ones. like 77, Sunset Strip; 69, Yours and Mine.

I won a tube of hand cream, a tin of baked beans and a packet of cheese straws in the raffle. Brenda asked me afterwards if I'd enjoyed it and I said "no, it were shit." I helped with the tidying up, in order to conceal from the block's management evidence of us associating.


I picked up the post from my old address the other day. If one simply ignores debts, they eventually dwindle and die.

7 comments »

7 comments

Comment from: Scarlet [Visitor]

Well that’s an offer! Other than you’ll always have trouble opening a new account.
Yep, looks like you are settling down - for the time being!
Sx

Thu 25th March 2021 @ 11:47 Reply to this comment
Comment from: [Member]

As the debt company writes “you could be free of your account", you can almost hear the sighing in their accounts department. It’s *them* who want to be free of this worthless debt, discounted to almost nothing.

And we’ll see about the settling down bit. If I know what I’m doing next Tuesday I’m doing well.

Thu 25th March 2021 @ 13:16 Reply to this comment
Comment from: daisyfae [Visitor]

You’ve moved, have entertaining neighbors, and are enjoying good sex with an engaging woman! i’ve been away for a bit - tending to life - and am caught up with looby.

Good to hear you’ve got your first jab, too. i backed into mine - had been volunteering with the local amateur radio crew to support the large vaccine clinic, and was there when they had a few ‘end of day’ leftover doses. Still not doing much out and about, but it feels better to have that sorted.

Mon 29th March 2021 @ 20:49 You are currently replying to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Hello DF! Nice to see you back, you jab thief! At our clinic we had to sit in a room afterwards for fifteen minutes to be monitored for any sudden reaction and the feeling of relief in the room was palpable, illuminated by the light at the end of this seemingly interminable tunnel.

Thu 1st April 2021 @ 10:46 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

Who’s jealous now you lucky bastard! I wouldn’t mind a weekend with a woman to roll around with but alas tis not to be… but once the vaccine kicks in look out!!

and on a long enough timeline all debts are wiped away ;) well played sir.

Thu 1st April 2021 @ 19:22 Reply to this comment

Same think applies to illness. If you pretend it doesn’t exist, sooner or later, it doesn’t. That’s what I’ve found, anyway.

Mon 12th April 2021 @ 01:40 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Oooh, I don’t know about that. I nearly died when I was nine years old because my mum ignored my appendicitis for months. Mind you, getting to see a doctor isn’t easy here.

Tue 13th April 2021 @ 12:04 Reply to this comment


Form is loading...

looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person


M / 57 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.


There are plenty of bastards who drink moderately. Of course, I don't consider them to be people. They are not our comrades.
Sergei Korovin, quoted in Pavel Krusanov, The Blue Book of the Alcoholic

I am here to change my life. I am here to force myself to change my life.
Chinese man I met during Freshers Week at Lancaster University, 2008

The more democratised art becomes, the more we recognise in it our own mediocrity.
James Meek

Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
Turgenev, Fathers and Sons

I hate the iPod; I hate the idea that music is such a personal thing that you can just stick some earplugs in your ears and have an experience with music. Music is a social phenomenon.
Jeremy Wagner

La vie poetique has its pleasures, and readings--ideally a long way from home--are one of them. I can pretend to be George Szirtes.
George Szirtes

Using words well is a social virtue. Use 'fortuitous' once more to mean 'fortunate' and you move an English word another step towards the dustbin. If your mistake took hold, no-one who valued clarity would be able to use the word again.
John Whale

One good thing about being a Marxist is that you don't have to pretend to like work.
Terry Eagleton, What Is A Novel?, Lancaster University, 1 Feb 2010

The working man is a fucking loser.
Mick, The Golden Lion, Lancaster, 21 Mar 2011

The Comfort of Strangers

23.1.16: Big clearout of the defunct and dormant and dull
16.1.19: Further pruning

If your comment box looks like this, I'm afraid I sometimes can't be bothered with all that palarver just to leave a comment.

63 mago
Another Angry Voice
the asshat lounge
Clutter From The Gutter
Crinklybee
Eryl Shields Ink
Exile on Pain Street
Fat Man On A Keyboard
gairnet provides: press of blll defunct, but retained for its quality
George Szirtes ditto
Guitars and Life
Infomaniac [NSFW]
The Joy of Bex
Laudator Temporis Acti
London's Singing Organ-Grinder
The Most Difficult Thing Ever
Quillette
Strange Flowers
Trailer Park Refugee
Wonky Words

"Just sit still and listen" - woman to teenage girl at Elliott Carter weekend, London 2006

5:4
Bristol New Music
Desiring Progress Collection of links only
Golden Pages for Musicologists
Lauren Redhead
NewMusicBox
The Rambler
Resonance FM
Sequenza 21
Sound and Music
Talking Musicology defunct, but retained


  XML Feeds

b2
 

©2021 by looby. Don't steal anything or you'll have a 9st arts graduate to deal with.

Contact | Help | Blog theme by Asevo | CMS + user community