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I can dishonestly say I love you

  Sun 17th December 2017

"...looby, I can honestly say I love u xxxx". As soon as a woman says that, you know it's over.

Karen started getting keen to see me again -- "I've missed ya lol xxx", "Soooo looking forward to seeing u xxx" -- but given her track record for repeatedly cancelling on me, for reasons as pressing as "I'm going to Preston with my sister," and "I'm at my Dad's", I was cool and held out for a while, eventually agreeing to meet her yesterday afternoon in The Shipbuilder's Arms before she went to her sister's for her tea.

She was wearing a shift dress with a fine black geometric lined pattern against a creme background. Everything was going well for a while -- until the ex turned up. I have no animosity towards him whatsoever, but it's an awkward asymmetry. He took her hands in his and they turned slightly turned away from me, which I took as The Ex's efforts to assert ownership of her, but I refuse to get into any kind of competition for a woman. I want to be chosen for how I am, not for being better in some respect or other, than another man.

I got chatting instead to the 72-year-old ex-prossie I snogged in there a few weeks ago. She was articulately resentful about her inferior status compared to call girls who work out of hotels. I felt a deal of sympathy for her, and admired how even for a pedestrian Friday afternoon she'd bothered with a tailored brown cord jacket, a blue and green faux-silk scarf and narrow black trousers, but as interesting as the political economy of prostitution is, it was Karen I wanted to talk to. Still, every time I checked, there was no sign of getting her back.

I decided to leave. She protested, but I was hardly attracted by the prospect of sitting like a gooseberry while she chatted exclusively to her ex, and bade her a kissless farewell.

I stopped to text her. "I'm sorry pet. I just can't be doing with sitting there while you two sort out all this relationship shit. I just want a nice easy night out with chat and blah di blah and swapping stories with a nice interesting girl like you. Let me know how your meal goes. God help you with that! Lots of kisses xxx"

A couple of hours later she texted to say she hadn't made it to her sister's. She didn't sound very happy, and there were no kisses on her texts, so I rang her. I apologised for leaving her but said that I didn't want to spend the evening talking to the ex-prossie. My confirmation into sexlessness -- "I can honestly say I love you" -- was delivered in a text afterwards. The following day: "You mean everything to me and have been a rock in my life and I will never forget that looby XXX".

I hardly need a second girl who "loves" me. Wendy loves me by not allowing me ever to visit her, to hide when I drop a card round, and lying to her ex when she's seeing me. Karen's love for me is expressed by spending an afternoon -- before which she had said that she was "sooo looking forward" to seeing me -- chatting to her ex.

9 comments

Comment from: Homer [Visitor]

Karen is hard for the reader to warm to. She sounds a thick twat who speaks in daytime TV cliché - “You have been a rock in my life”, Jesus, you’ve only known her a few months haven’t you?

Sun 17th December 2017 @ 08:03
Comment from: [Member]

I’ve just had a trawl through the posts and we only started knocking about together since February. And the only remotely effortful thing I’ve done is to go round with flowers and chocolate and sympathy after she got mugged.

I do enjoy chatting with her, but I’ve had enough of this kind of overheated text shite off women this year.

Sun 17th December 2017 @ 08:54

Fortunately, we stand on the cusp of a New Year. Go ahead and make a resolution. What’ve you got to lose?

Mon 18th December 2017 @ 11:46
Comment from: looby [Visitor]  

Well, my main resolution is to go abroad – I mean to live and work abroad. Of which I’ll write later.

Mon 18th December 2017 @ 13:05
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

I believe i’m quite guilty of using that phrase in a dishonest way to get what i wanted, in my wasted youth of course now i don’t know what it is between adults i only know it when i see the boyos…

I’d inform Karen that next time you meet and her Ex walks in you’ll be exiting immediately…

Resolutions are over-rated, make a plan and execute said plan, i recommend a dart and a blindfold and big map, toss dart and there you have it, looking forward to the adventures of looby!!!

(and you should read The Adventures and Mis-Adventures of Maqroll by Alvaro Mutis, great book)

Wed 20th December 2017 @ 14:00
Comment from: Eryl [Visitor]

Ye gads, how rude! I could never do that to someone, ever. I hope.

I don’t think these women know what love is; my experience of loving someone is that I can’t keep away from him.

Where abroad? How exciting, you’ll be exotic to all the women there, so bound to have lots of fun.

Wed 20th December 2017 @ 18:08
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Kono
Yes, I’ve said The Three Little Words, but – you know, we’re all in our fifties now. Can’t we have grown up a bit and use it a bit more sparingly?

Thanks for the book recommendation – will add it to the yard of unread books on my shelf :)

Eryl
Thanks – I’m glad it’s not just me that thinks that. If my ex turned up I’d be polite but if they weren’t getting the hint after a minute I’d explain that I’m with my friend.

Got applications in a few places – I’ll try to do another entry ce soir.

(Ha ha, the captcha is 99p, which remind em – must get to the pound shop today).

Thu 21st December 2017 @ 14:27
Comment from: daisyfae [Visitor]

i’ve got a bit of a hang up about saying “i love you", or hearing it, for that matter. in any relationship, it has/had seemed to me that once the words are spoken, shit starts to either go downhill fast, or (worse) settle into a routine, where the words are tossed around like an afterthought - “Hey, don’t forget to pick up some tampons for me at the store on your way home! I love you!”

so i have to find other ways to say it, and make sure those i love know it.

have to agree with Homer - Karen seems a bit of a bubbleheaded drama queen.

Thu 28th December 2017 @ 14:52
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

I couldn’t agree more DF. My only problem is that I do have a bit of a weakness for bubbleheaded drama queens if they’re fit at the same time.

Fri 29th December 2017 @ 23:17


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