I am delighted to be out of all that!

The Little Dictator will see through his game in time. In the long run, that man’s fucked. He sleeps on his mum’s settee and is the epitome of the sad middleaged loser. He’s lost a truly exceptional woman, (and one I would love to be able to love).

and any human who uses their children as pawns, spies, whatever after a divorce or separation is the lowest piece of shite imaginable, what are you teaching the kid? parents need to realize their actions have consequences and affect the child, i know when my behavior and the example i set is detrimental to the boyos well being and try to correct it, but that guy is a class A fucking twat! (not that you didn’t know that, lol)

Eryl:
Hello! I’m sure our paths have crossed – tangentially – before, from Hestia (was it) – the woman from Rothesay who was another arty type.

I’ve never been taken for a young woman before – shows you how unreliable the account one gives of oneself on the internet is I suppose. Thank you dropping in.

The Little Dictator and her Dad have a good relationship in themselves, but he has groomed her to be his little spy on Wendy, so any time I am with her she will report back with full details and be grilled for an account when she gets back. He’s an utter manipulative, controlling twat. But there’s only one person who can change that situation and it’s not me. Wendy’s just drifting with it, year after year.

There are other people that could help with The Little Dictator. Believe it nor not, I am one of them! I get on very well with TLD when she forgets that I am the enemy.

I like Wendy a huge amount. She’s clever, witty, well-read, incautious, kind – and almost indescribably sexy and well-dressed. But I’m sick of her lying to him about me. We’re not even having a sexual relationship!

The situation is stuck, immobile and given TLD’s age, that’s how it will be for several years hence, unless she does something about it – like you did! Bet you’re glad you’re out of all that.

Anyway, I just want to say the ex hasn’t won; you have taken back control of your life. Wendy needs to do the same really, find a babysitter, that kind of thing, and stop relying on the bastard for help. If his child is nothing to him but a bargaining chip he doesn’t deserve to see her. l know it’s hard though, and she’ll have to work this out for herself. I spent the last five years of my (thirty year) marriage to a manipulative, controlling narcissist trying to understand his problem and help him! Only now, six years later, do I realise his problem was/is that he’s a cunt and there’s nothing to be done about it.

Good luck.

and if i may go all armchair shrink here for a moment, in the last comment you say the Ex has won, if he has it’s because you and Wendy have relinquished control to him, one or both of you could change the dynamic and make him react to the situation, you could choose to exert your influence and if that causes him to relent and let you see her or the exact opposite at least you have taken to the action to remedy the situation even if one of those remedies is not the desired outcome… of course i don’t believe in winning and losing when it comes to the relationships we have, their is either acceptance of it/them or non-acceptance of it and we take it from there…

then again i’m a shut-in stoner who’s half-baked and sitting around listening to dub records, most likely i know fuck all…

Anyway, looks like we have at least separated, even if the decree absolute hasn’t come in yet. So in a way, the Ex has won.