I know a rather wealthy lesbian who pulled this off, got her partner’s nephew citizenship after a term of “marriage", she was overweight and 25 years older than him and he was a South American tail merchant, makes me giggle every time i think of it.

And i always have a grand time with the financial types of the world, me old man left some dosh and they are constantly calling me to do this or that for my “retirement” and i often tell them i’m going to cash out and take the dough to the track or stuff it in a suitcase and split for Costa Rica so that i can sit on a beach and sell trinkets and weed to tourists (though i leave the bit about the weed out), they don’t seem to understand that it’s just an arbitrary means for bartering for goods and services and that while it’s a necessary evil and it sucks to be broke the accumulation of wealth is fucking non-sense, some of my best times were spent broke living hand to mouth, but for fuck sake what am i on about now, see this is why i try to stay mid-wank/mid-drugs, keep my hands occupied so i don’t go round spewing shite cuz i’m a fucking recluse who spends most of his time conversing with his cats ;)

Sally – yes, it’s a bit dire down here. I’m all in favour of it. Cath’s alright and although nothing remotely romantic is going to happen, we get on really well and she’s pretty fit so I wouldn’t be faking much. I don’t want to leave Bristol. It’s ace here. More interesting and unpredictable than Lancaster.