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Falling

  Sat 9th December 2017

"I met a woman in town, she was drunk and apparently she'd recently fallen off a cliff. Must have been your lucky day. Are you free for a drink on Friday lunchtime?
Wendy X"

Every shred of resolve dissolves. I am drunk on unreciprocated love, again.

"I would be delighted to take you up on that. Thank you. Not sure I
deserve it but I'll say yes before you change your mind. Let me know
when and where suits
X

We had an almost unspeakably enjoyable hour-and-a-half. The low sun shining onto her face, wonky strands of her beautiful ragged hair hanging down over her left eye. Her dark blue eyes. Her skinny brown dress, the hem, her crossing her legs, her thighs. The always, always, far too brief, hug, her knowing what I want it to mean and her rejection of that.

As it behoves me to create more distance between a girl I love who doesn't love me, I sent a restrained email afterwards which I hope leaves her with an idea of the cool and reserved atmosphere between us which would be better for both of us.

5 comments »

5 comments

Well, that’s putting it all out in the store window. I like your restraint. She’ll hardly glean your meaning from this.

Every woman wants to get a message like this at least once in her life. Preferably repeatedly.

Are you having a good holiday season? I hope so. All good wishes to you, sir.

Tue 12th December 2017 @ 11:32 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

I regret sending it now. It’s as flattering and unhelpful to her as it is pointless to helping me see Wendy for what she will always be – a friend.

“Holiday” season? Do you mean Christmas? This drives me nuts about Americans – they’ve got a phobia of the word” Christmas", but any crackpot Muslim or Jewish festival gets its proper name.

But to answer your point, it’s a bit early for Christmas yet. My girls are coming home on Tuesday (19th), so that’s when we’ll start getting things ready. I’m really looking forward to seeing them again.

Tue 12th December 2017 @ 13:36 Reply to this comment

I’ve no phobia about using Christmas. I use holiday as an all-encompassing term that covers the two-week period over Christmas and the New Year.

I’m glad your girls will be around. Typically, we travel to Cleveland to visit my family but politics are tearing them apart. My brother, a staunch conservative, and my sister and niece, both radical lesbians, are locked in a never-ending battle. There will be no winners. It’s holy hell when they’re in the same room together so I decided to spare my daughters that bit of ugliness and stay put in New Jersey.

Wed 13th December 2017 @ 11:22 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Oh Lord that sounds dreadful. No wonder you want to avoid all that. It’s a shame that they can’t find some tiny sliver of generosity towards each other just for a fortnight. But avoiding it in the meantime sounds the best idea.

P.S. Sorry for sounding a bit snippy about the word “Christmas". It’s just creeping into UK usage and I dislike it a great deal. It’s mealy-mouthed and un-Northern.

Wed 13th December 2017 @ 15:00 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

The great punk band Fear said it best in their song Fuck Christmas… i’m partial to Chrimbo myself but here in the land of guns and ammo the conservative Christians get all up in arms about the hi-jacking of El Chrimbo, i say fuck ‘em they hi-jacked my pagan solstice for their own ends, if faced with having to speak to some stranger wishing me “merry Christmas", i usually reply “and happy Festivus to you too!!” it’s all a shit show to distract us from what really matters and that should be being decent every day not just the birthday of some guy… dammit babies you gotta be kind… (that’s Kurt Vonnegut’s line i can’t take credit)

Wed 13th December 2017 @ 18:41 You are currently replying to this comment


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