Yes, those kind of acts almost of cowardice, stay in, and prey on, your mind.

I think the moment for contacting the girl’s family is passed now; I’ll just have to try to be less of a wimp next time.

I am sure that everyone carries a list of missed chances nicely tucked away in a dark corner of the memory. I have such a list, and in bad sleepless nights it is opened, by whom or what I do not know. I usually use an image of a crate in a kind of bunker where I bury that goddamn list again, sometimes it works fast, sometimes not so.
If you are seriously interested in expressing your condolences / feelings - you know the name of the girl. There should be a “Traueranzeige", a notice in a local paper. Here even the stingiest papers have the obits free for all. There should be an address.
If you can not reach out, it simply is so ; accept the inevitable, another little scratch.

(Still today, after soon twenty years, I could rip my arse off that I did not speak at the grave of one of my eldest friends, who died in his forties.
I simply could not, the fucking speech is stored for ever in my head. Maybe I’ll visit his grave some day, and then.)

That’d be nice but I don’t know her address. I have thought about doing some digging on it though, seeing as there’s a lot of info on farce book.

It’s always difficult. It’s a terribly sad situation. Not too late to send her a card and let her know you remember her dear daughter with fondness.

I could have just introduced myself and told her how much I enjoyed working with a loveable and interesting young woman. I *curse* myself for not having been able to produce a gentlemanly and considerate comment to the mother at the time.

22. Ach Herrgott …
Leaves one behind with nothing to say. What do you say to a mother who just buried her daughter, especially when the daughter took her own life ?

Not just you… we English do enjoy a cuppa!

Mighty Morecambe FC!! I love it!! away days are fine things especially when the club triumphs :)

Good old homebrew… a bit like that mushroom tea i make i reckon;)

Ha ha :) – well if ever I end up there, I’ll certainly expect a few pints of ale before I move on.

Yes, I am at the bespectabled age.

I’ve done homebrew before – if you get it right (and it’s not difficult with kits), it can be pretty decent. My friend made a chocolate stout once which was one of the finest beers I’ve ever tasted.

You wear glasses ?

Homebrew ? Well … whatever keeps yer engine running, but - seriously ? I know that a certain brew is produced in jail from bread, I doubt there’s yeast in it. But this plastic barrel looks not too promising to me. More like a self help kit from Dignitas.

Thanks, I’ll be round Thursday night then.

30 litres of cider on the go & another 50 kg of apples awaiting a similar fate. It’s a crazy year.

Yeah, you always feel a bit frustrated about not being to help someone like that, as though they’re so far away. It’s odd, as I can clearly remember details from the days only a few weeks ago when we were working together.

Fed up with the bloody long-winded effort you have to make to get on the railway. This has been dragging on since May. The whole process feels like a kind of prostitution.

First my friend, my condolences about that young woman, having lost two friends this year who checked out on their own volition it’s always a bit of a shock… the magical thinking is wish she would have gotten some sort of help or had someone to talk with but the reality it the world is a fucking shit show and she’d had enough… i feel for her and you my friend…

i fucking despise those job interview questions, granted i’m a world class bullshitter and know exactly what to feed the shitmongers but i really want to laugh and say, “i don’t care fuck-all about this company, i just need to be able to feed, cloth, house and occasionally get fucking wasted (maybe more than occasionally) so here i am groveling so i can waste precious hours of my life for a bunch of wankers who i could care less about…” so do i get the job? lol!

Yeah, the packets are all colourful and make it look like it’s all groovy and cute. Obviously aimed at the yoof.

The odd carrot at a concert is an exception of course…

The latest stupid decision… could be the story of our lives lol!

Seems the kids all love those little pouches which seem to me most vile but big tobacco has to hook the kids somehow right?

I’ve often told the boyos to steer clear of the old lady known as nicotine… granted i’ve smoke my fair share but kicked it a long time ago (exept of course the occasional ciggy when tripping at concerts ;) but you have to watch, good old Nic will make you spin right round if you ain’t used to it… never a dull moment with you good sir..

I am a feather-weight when it comes to nicotine and after Friday’s disaster I am never touching it again. The other men at the table were happily talking away, while I was going through my hot, nauseous misery.

The woman though, was lovely. She used to run a pub, and you could tell – she had that mixture of flirtiness and distance which is very attractive.

Enjoy your Halbe! I am off the drink until 1st November, but I will raise a glass in a Franconian direction that day.

Caramba !
Sorry to learn that it smashed you so.
I never have used this “snuss” stuff, I am just rolling my ciggies, two go with a “Halbe” (half a liter of beer).
I am always astounded how non-descript the modern pre-fab cigarettes are - what is nowadays a Marlboro would have been seen as a pregnancy cigarette forty years ago. And you can not buy real Gitanes or any black tabaccoed stuff anymore, forget the ones without filter.

I like the “shiny ray of middle-aged womanhood", a nice picture. Sorry to learn that she was “Frau Welt", tossing out poison on one side, while warm-tender-lively on the other side - tah !

Hi my friend – yes, the contact link (right at the bottom left) is all completely private. Very curious now!

Be on the lookout for a message my good sir as i have some news to report on the Veronica front… i figured you might be interested to hear ;) if i send one through the contact link on this page is it private?