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The price of fish

  Mon 17th October 2011

This weekend was the Music Festival, a three-year-old event that was started as one person's initiative after our slack, slacks-wearing Council abolished a Maritime Festival which attracted visitors, singers and musicians from all over Europe.

On Friday, at a gig in my packed local, I saw Frances for the first time since she was in nothing but stockings and sitting deliciously on top of me a year or so ago. She wasn't interested. Polite, with a smile that was composed and dissolved quickly. Linda was there, a chance meeting as our worlds revolve ever more distantly. Beautifully dressed as usual, in a grey jacket in fine wool.

On Saturday, me, Kirsty and the girls went down to the Quay to hear some folk music and do the handover of the children over a pint. I've had them girls for a week while Kirsty was on holiday in Ibiza. It's been almost effortless, a bit of understated bonding with my eldest, Faye, who can be a touch prickly at times. As she said goodbye, Kirsty took my arm briefly and smiled and I felt a blood-rush of warm feeling towards her.

Kirsty and the girls left and I relaxed into my deserved evening in the pub. A local band called Baksheesh came on. They play this gypsy / East European / kletzmer music, and half way through a somewhat underdressed woman comes on and does a sort of slow belly dancing. They have a young female trumpeter who is as confident as a person as she is technically adept. There was a suggestion of a fight which was resolved by everyone paying not the slightest attention to the aggressor.

There was someone there who makes me talk (not that I need any encouragement) quite rapidly, and we ended up happily interrupting each other with a tumble of conversation. She has a lazy eye which wanders everywhere but which I find a bit sexy. She is, I assume, "happily" married, but I think she understands the subtext. I met one of my oldest friends, who introduced me to the teacher of French he's seeing. I could see the chemistry between them working well, each happy that they have found someone who naturally performs the roles they would like the other to take.

I'm taking part in an art project called Fortnight, and part of it involves receiving texts and acting on the instructions you receive. We were asked to go into town to make a phone call from a special phone set up in the lobby of a hotel. On my way there I went to the fishmonger and bought some hake. I had to suppress my shock when he told me its price. I sent Linda a text: "Hello gorgeous, long shot. I've just spent nine fucking quid on a fish. You come round to my house tonight and help me eat it?"

Except that I sent it to the organisers of the art project instead, who generously and unbureaucratically replied "Oh looby, that was a diamond in the rough, an absolute gem." Linda was busy though.

4 comments

Comment from: Daddy Papersurfer [Visitor]

Excellent name for a blog - SEO heaven. Of course I’ve always been interested in lawnmower stories since THAT incident last century - I’ll text you about it.

Tue 18th October 2011 @ 10:40
Comment from: nursemyra [Visitor]

Ah those accidental texts…..

Tue 18th October 2011 @ 11:35
Comment from: [Member]

Hello DP, nice to see you! I would be most interested to hear from a man who was similarly misunderstood. I just tell people it was a long time ago, I said sorry to her Dad, and I bought her a new Flymo.

Nursey - There was an unfortunate incident recently involving a late-night text informing Denise in some detail of what I’d like her to do, and what to wear while she was doing it, which got sent to my Departmental Administrator at Uni.

(Who, awkwardly, *is* quite attractive).

Tue 18th October 2011 @ 11:49
Comment from: Daddy Papersurfer [Visitor]

Well, it concerned the HT lead [doesn’t it always!?!] and one too many glasses of a rather good malt. Anyhoo, to cut a long story sideways, the rabbit recovered … eventually … although the tortoise stills bears a grudge [why on earth do they live for sooooo long!!?!]

Tue 18th October 2011 @ 18:27


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looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person


M / 60 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.


There are plenty of bastards who drink moderately. Of course, I don't consider them to be people. They are not our comrades.
Sergei Korovin, quoted in Pavel Krusanov, The Blue Book of the Alcoholic

I am here to change my life. I am here to force myself to change my life.
Chinese man I met during Freshers Week at Lancaster University, 2008

The more democratised art becomes, the more we recognise in it our own mediocrity.
James Meek

Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
Turgenev, Fathers and Sons

I hate the iPod; I hate the idea that music is such a personal thing that you can just stick some earplugs in your ears and have an experience with music. Music is a social phenomenon.
Jeremy Wagner

La vie poetique has its pleasures, and readings--ideally a long way from home--are one of them. I can pretend to be George Szirtes.
George Szirtes

Using words well is a social virtue. Use 'fortuitous' once more to mean 'fortunate' and you move an English word another step towards the dustbin. If your mistake took hold, no-one who valued clarity would be able to use the word again.
John Whale

One good thing about being a Marxist is that you don't have to pretend to like work.
Terry Eagleton, What Is A Novel?, Lancaster University, 1 Feb 2010

The working man is a fucking loser.
Mick, The Golden Lion, Lancaster, 21 Mar 2011

The Comfort of Strangers

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