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  Sat 3rd December 2011

And now, inevitably, follows the irritated adjustment back to normal life as my dopamine levels recover. Getting ratty with my eldest for flooding her plate with tomato ketchup. Doing a very poor job of concealing how reluctant I am to accompany my middle daughter to the museum for a Victorian Christmas afternoon, where we're going to play Victorian parlour games and make pomanders. And snapping at a reasonable request from Jenny: "Oh for God's sake, I've only just finished making Melanie's sarnie!"

A long email to Mary-Ann saying, as carefully and with as bright a gloss as I can manage, that this constant not knowing when I will next see her could turn into a bit of a cloud in the long term, as uncertainty turns from pleasant anticipation to everyday frustration.

Talking to myself: "Why the fuck did you get in touch with someone from Leicester, so difficult to get to, and someone so busy, so little free time?" "But I had to. There's no-one in Lancaster. Sitting around here I'll be sexless for ever, until one day, I hear the detested "compliment" about being a good friend one time too many, and I'll leap up and scream at the well-meaning speaker."

I'm impatient for the next chapter: a un-alarm clocked time of physical closeness with the woman who has already seduced me in the way that first attracted me to her: Hello Mary-Ann. I like your hyphens. Knowing that she wants all this as much as me helps not one bit, or even makes it worse, while the date is unnamed.

A doctor writes: This well-documented phase usually lasts about 24-36 hours at the most, during which time the patient is apt to dwell on a more negative view of his experiences than he would normally.

7 comments

Have you ever thought about staying away from chemicals that disturb the brain’s neuro-receptor/transmitter balance?

Stick with the well tried mixture of cider and British Sherry; worked for my generation.
You can still see them lying around in public parks, urinals and graveyards.

What’s wrong with Lancaster?

I always liked it.
Mind you the girls from Nottingham always seemed to have much bigger knockers.

Sun 4th December 2011 @ 03:20
Comment from: nursemyra [Visitor]

I can’t keep up with your girlfriends. How many do you have?

Sun 4th December 2011 @ 09:25
Comment from: [Member]

TSB: Why would I do that? It was a beautiful time, a lovely, sensual, close, funny time with Kim in which we enjoyed the world and each other in a way that wouldn’t have been possible without the doo-dah. A bit of rattiness at the end is a very small price worth paying, far less intrusive than a hangover.

Lancaster’s a good place to live in many respects, but I’ll never meet anyone here, and I speak after years of trying. They’re all married, nutters, or looking for a social worker, not a lover.

Next time I’m in Nottingham I’ll try to verify the larger breasts theory through empirical participant observation research.

Nursey: Female friends are different from girlfriends. I’ve got several of the former, none of the latter.

Sun 4th December 2011 @ 10:43
Comment from: nursemyra [Visitor]

How many of your female friends are you having sex with?

Sun 4th December 2011 @ 19:58
Comment from: [Member]

None! If I were I’d say so. That’s the point upon which the difference between female friends and girlfriends turns. I’m not having sex with anyone.

Sun 4th December 2011 @ 20:15
Comment from: [Member]

while frustrating, distance can be a good thing. you find that your time together is more precious, and will be far less likely to waste it bickering over silly things… hoping this works out for the best for you both. i like her hyphens, too.

Tue 6th December 2011 @ 12:38
Comment from: [Member]

Thanks. Women who are handy with hyphens are thin on the ground. I hope that’s how it’ll work out. Just at the moment it doesn’t feel promising. I can’t afford this on a regular basis (not for the first time, I’m getting involved with someone on a way higher income than me) and I’m a bit gloomy about the thought of seeing someone once a month for three hours in a day of which five hours are spent sitting on a train. But let’s just see how it goes. Maybe I’ll look back on this pessimism and laugh.

Tue 6th December 2011 @ 12:52


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