Unseen

Double standards? In what way Homer? I never cheated on my partner, I have nothing to hide, I still would have considered it an invasion of his privacy to pick up his phone and look through his text messages. I speak in the past because he died four years ago.

If I were hoping to form a romantic relationship with someone who was referring to me by name and expressing his doubts about me on a blog which can be read by anybody - then I would want to know about those doubts.

I don’t see how that can be construed as a double standard. Perhaps I offended you when I expressed my opinion about reading someone else’s text messages. It wasn’t intentional and I apologise if that was the case.

Just to clarify - no-one’s real name is ever used on this blog. I translate them into other names using an algorithm of stratospheric complexity (cough).

I caught up on all these happenings this morning. Good heavens. On the one hand, I felt aggrieved that someone had taken it upon themselves to blab about your blog. I’ve had similar ‘issues’ with people who know me in real life digging out my own blog, although they have known very well that I would not and do not wish them to do this. The person who did this in your case must have known it would cause problems - misguided at best, malicious at worst. Tsk.

However, on the upside, all this excitement seems to have helped focus your mind on what you actually do want, which cannot be anything but helpful. So, a very curious ‘ill wind’ at play. And your body joined in by providing you with some cold sores so you could defer things even more tantalisingly…

I was thinking of your recent, somewhat similar, situation during this.

Little Miss God of Loughborough probably thinks that a blog is a public affair simply because it is theoretically accessible by anyone. Of course it is. And you keep your gob shut and go away. Problems only arise from people like her who think that finding this blog gives her the same rights to meddle in my life as it might were she to know me in real life.

One can only assume that she felt a compelling need to meddle directly in your business because there’s something lacking in her own life. Yours sounds more exciting, so she wants in. People often say that this kind of attention ’should be flattering’, but it never is. It’s too much like emotional cannibalism for that.

This is exactly why I am so careful about what I say. No real names, not even of the town. I don’t trust people not to stumble across this blog somehow, and I’ve had enough bullshit from people who barely know me prying into my personal life. I am sorry this happened, and I like how you talk about blog-as-sandbox. We read each other regularly and know each other in a different way than we would if we were simply colleagues or neighbors or whatever. Your situation feels like a violation to me, even though I know that’s a weak position.
Pffft. People. Bunch of cunts.

I’ve just picked up on this - late to the party again. I’m glad it got sorted out. I agree with ISBW, it served to move things further, and that’s all that matters - no point in speculating about the intent or motivation of the person who forwarded the address, as we’re all different people, there’s no one moral code uniting us at all. [’I wouldn’t have done it’ is not at all related to what others would do.]
If I had seen the ‘doubts’ post in time, I would have suggested telling her those doubts (we all have fears, after all). I presume your tendency to the negative at the time was what delayed that.
It *is* a public forum. And all of us with blogs continually forget that, and frequently recklessly ignore it. It’s what makes the blogs worth reading.

It *is* a public forum. And all of us with blogs continually forget that, and frequently recklessly ignore it. It’s what makes the blogs worth reading.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. I read on a FAQ on a sex blog a long time ago “Why are doing this?” And she answered “We say the thing you won’t dare say.”

I don’t think she intended any self-congratulatory tone in that, (although she deserves some appreciation), but I love your blog for putting that in practice.