You have insufficent funds for this transaction

The thing I like about your posts looby, is the view I get, as through a glass darkly, of a completely different lifestyle to my own boring conservtive one. As well as your great use of prose of course.
I think we’ve all been through financially tough times, where even an extra bowl of chickpea curry can be morale-boosting,but you’ve got to kick (literaly if needed) into that dickhead Stefan.

Change the rules.

Everytime Stefan puts the thermostat over 16ºC he pays ALL of the heating bill. Alternatively, every time you have to turn the thermostat down, he pays for the day.

Lastly, dancing. Come on.

Everyone over 30 looks a right prat when dancing unless it’s ballroom, and then he just looks like a complete dick, like everyone else on the dancefloor.

Thank you, but I wouldn’t describe your life as “boring", at least not the bits of it we see through your glass.

My income is very erratic, so I’m used to spells like this. It teaches one to be resourceful. And it’s fortunate that almost all the expenses of Christmas have been covered.

Stefan’s just gone to get his flight home, so the heating will be put back on to my default setting (i.e. OFF) till they return, and we’ll try to claw some of the profligate expense back. You’re right, I’m going to have to have a word with him. In the meantime, I’ve drank all his expensive not from concentrate apple juice. That’ll learn him.

Dancing: oh how benighted you are! The soul scene’s dancing is as far removed from the gawky self-conscious jerks (noun and verb) of high street nightclubs as it is possible to see. If you could only be a fly on the wall at Lytham you’d see how people of all ages can put Sharon and Dave from Cinderella’s to shame.

I never dance… always, always look a complete arse… not a smart move, a mate of mine who was one of those brilliant dancers from the word go got so much action when he was younger… girls love a dancer - one of my teenage friends told me it was because a good dancer makes a good lover… I won’t comment further clearly!

Well… I mean, you know… I couldn’t possibly comment on such an association! :)

Heating is interesting. Our thermostat is set to 17* and only comes on between 5pm-10pm, supplemented by the woodburner in the lounge. Due to being off-grid for gas, this still equates to well over a grand a year. I wear a thermal vest 8 months of the year and always have blue fingernails.

Damn that Stefan, damn him!

I always wear a T-shirt underneath my shirt. Makes a real difference. I cut the neckline down slightly, so that it doesn’t show underneath an open necked shirt as I think Visible T-Shirts Under Shirts is a bad look on a man.

At some point a few years ago, I lost my long johns, and I really miss them on these cold nights. They were so lovely and snug. Well, on the nights when you weren’t planning other ways of keeping warm, of course. I’m not having a woman going in through a flap.

“I’m not having a woman going in through a flap. “

Words fail me.