Post-doc

hmm, I know the strength at warding off negative thought and internal and external comment that would have to have taken to do, so very well done. again: are you able to come to london soon ? i am 40 and have a party on feb 10th - mail me, it would be great to meet you and we have a BUDGET meaning train fare and accommodation gladly provided, in exchange for an ability to drink loads, mix well and sound vaguely intelligent at at least one point in the evening X

i bailed on a PhD. loved the idea of it. didn’t want to spend the time or do the work. i survived.

oh, and if we ever meet in person? do you have any idea how paranoid i’m going to be about what i’m wearing?!?!?

Sarah: I’m flattered and hugely delighted! I’d love to meet you and your friends. I still gratefully remember what you said when there was a possibility I could have been homeless a couple of years ago.

The only thing is that it’s Kitty’s birthday on 11th so I’m not sure what we’re doing for that. But I will liaise and let you know. If there’s even the slightest possibility of me getting there I will be. And a huge thank you!

DF: It’s the telling everyone I’m not looking forward to. I’ve been doing it gradually. Mary-Ann will have to be next - I’m seeing her at the weekend.

In terms of clothes, just wear what you wear on your saucy nights of underdressing with N. I’m sure most readers would take delight in a subsequent detailed description of such attire.

Well done on having taken a decision. It must feel a huge relief. Don’t forget to enjoy the time you get back from it.

Thanks - it is. It’s been bothering me for months. I can’t afford the fees, but even imagining that I could, I still don’t want to do it.

And I’m pretty good at finding uses for free time :)

I don’t think you need to provide a rational to us or anyone else. Or yourself. If you don’t have the desire then that’s the end of that. Trying to manufacture enthusiasm for something you have no real interest in doing is poison for your soul.

You’re right UB. And in certain jobs I’ve had, I’ve done several years of that.

mmmm…..you’ve obviously thought it through but nothing you say about doing the phd sounds negative, in fact it all sounds very positive: the social side, the supervisions, feeling joyous….. Could ‘But I’m having a good life now’ be anything to do with the direction your studying has given you??

You don’t *have* to provide a rationale; but a blog is after all a place for rationales, and I appreciate that you decided to share yours. Even the bit about the cock.

Well done on making the decision, anyway. I’ve known people who’ve decided either way, and there’s pretty much no correlation in how happy they’ve ended up being in life. What seems key, I think, is making whatever decision you’ve made, for the right reasons.

(And a bit of luck helps too, so: may you have the best of that.)

I’m a bit ambivalent about your PhD decision. I did my Masters when I was 47, and I would have really loved to go back and finish a Doctorate, but I didn’t have the time or the money.
I wouldn’t have done it for the kudos, but I just loved the life at University, and appreciated stretching my mind and discovering something anew, even having vague and slightly frightening fantasies about my supervisors.

But life goes on, and changes have to be accepted.
Welcome back to the life of a wage-slave; if not yet, then sometime soon I predict, no matter what you may feel at the moment, I can foresee the future, and old-age beckons and a rising need for security.
Maybe.
Hope it works out, and even hope that the Doctor with the tight skirt but disappointing arse wants you back for a private consultation to discuss matters other than alcohol or drug consumption. Take a condom just in case, she’ll appreciate your forethought.

YAH: I enjoyed my subject long before the PhD, so my good life at the moment isn’t really a product of the PhD. It’s more to do with having a stable housing situation, a good relationship with Kirsty and the children, having someone to touch and kiss and hold (I cope very badly with being physically alone), and being able to get away with not doing much paid work.

SB: Thanks - I think it is the right decision, made freely. I can carry on as a sort of unofficial hanger on at Lancaster University anyway, should I wish (going to seminars etc).

TSB: I never want to wake up again, as I did for years, with the first words coming out of my mouth being “Oh fuck", at the prospect of going to my job. I know the way I live is a bit precarious but it suits me for the foreseeable future.