Trina sees it for the first time

Are you practicing safe sex? I always hated condoms. Hated them. I’m lucky I don’t have a string of unwanted pregnancies behind me. Or worse.

Don’t sound so bloody surprised! You knew this conversation was coming sooner or later.

“The unbearable banishment” wins the Thursday prize for Most Random Comment!

He he :) You should present it at Melton Mowbray Food Festival, at a fringe event, this weekend. Regret missing that, but skint.

Trina’s 58. We can fuck and fuck and fuck and nothing babyish will happen. I’ve never used a condom, not once. It’s a lot easier for the woman to swallow a pill rather than a man to put on a condom mid-arousal. And apart from three daughters, who all came at once, from a woman I had hardly any sex with, there’s been no outcome.

I don’t want to live with anyone. It’s nice how it is, let’s not make it all domesticated, normal, routine, nagging, accusations, doghouse, complaining, the curse of the mobile phone–"where are you?", and worst of all, sexless. I would find married life, with or without the certificate, a fucking misery. I want my own life, away from anyone.

Subtle looby, a very subtle start. Whatever were you implying, you rogue you.

I hope you now feel guilty in making poor Trina go out into the elements poorly clothed. Another typical artistic choice of style over practicality. Lancashire in October is more parka or duffle coat weather, not a thin grey jacket.

Port or Port-style is good. Any Stilton to go with it?

Relationship blues strike yet again.

Why can’t women just accept what we’re willing to give?

Why do they always want to complicate matters?

I don’t know TSB. Every girl you meet always wants to ruin a good thing by draining all the life out of it and grinding it down into convention and habit.

It’s serious this–I’m going to have to have a chat with her about it. I’m 48, I’ve made every relationship mistake going apart from marriage. I don’t want to live with anyone. Why can’t we just leave it as it is?

Be honest with her!!! Don’t let her believe anything else otherwise it’ll all end in tears no matter.

So - my advice (frankly don’t listen to me, what the hell do I know) is to say what you feel, that you want it to stay as it is etc. Now do you write off ever cohabiting with her? If not at least leave that door ajar but

Winter is coming… the boat is getting chillier… who wouldn’t try out for a roof????
Sx

F: I think it was more of a floated idea (floated idea, ha ha, that’s appropriate for someone who lives on a canal) to see what I’d think, so there’s scope for me saying words to the effect of “no fucking way".

S: It is chilly and damp on there now, but only until you get the woodburner going. Then it’s really cosy. I can’t see how it’d work financially anyway. It’s a lovely boat, very well looked after, but it wouldn’t fetch enough to buy a cardboard box in Lancaster, and I haven’t got two ha’pennies to rub together.

From what you’ve said about Trina, and with some eloquent reasoning, I think she’ll understand the benefits of not living together. Simply put, if it’s not broken, then why fix it?
( And hurray for the bed ! )

Exactly. I want to hold on to this for as long as I can. It’s lovely at the moment, for both of us. And yes, it’s great to be able to stretch out a bit at night.

From another perspective, it’s not only women who bugger it up by wanting to be permanently ‘togevva’; I’m in the same position, and batting it back with ‘no bloody way’, and ‘I like it as it is’ doesn’t do any more than put the next jokey reference back a week or so. I have found, however, that explaining my reservations clearly, as well as what I like about having my own cave to retreat to, allowed me to specify that the subject can be acceptably be raised again 3 years from now. He gets a sense of there actually being a longer term (turns out, that’s enough), and I get to stop having to bat the horrible prospect of another failed relationship away.

Sensible way of doing it V. Much better than my approach up to now which has been to dodge the issue.