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Square dancing

  Sat 3rd November 2012

Gerry and I arrived at the pub and I apologised for telling her by text last night that I wanted to ---- my ---- in her ---- while she ---- her ---- ---- ----, something meant for someone else.

It's an unattractive pub, swirly carpets, darkly stained wood, one big room, glaring lights, and a laddish hardness about it with men performing that weird modern handshake involving a thumb grab with your hands at 45 degrees, which I suppose is used to indicate and threaten a physical power underlying the friendship. It's a slight improvement on that offputting fingers-only offer, which instantly makes me mistrust a man.

The comment on the first track set the tone for the night. Issac Hayes's Theme from Shaft had someone wondering if we had "anything different", or "some rock n' roll". Later, the barmaid came up to me and said "Have you got anything you can boogie to?" I was incredulous: I was at that moment playing Heatwave's Boogie Nights.

Gerry rose to the occasion, sending round a sheet of A4 and a pen to ask people to write down two tracks they'd like to hear next time, although we have just found out from the landlady that there won't be a next time.

We got a few dancing though, including Erica and Mr Erica. He said some drunken but very nice things to me which ended in cheek kissing which was honest and heartfelt. Quite surprisingly, Ingrid, looking rather fanciable in a white blouse and dancing straight away, turned up in the company of my old time partner in performance crime.

We were struggling with the equipment a bit--we had knocked this together in a very short time, the amp didn't seem to cope very well with the low output of this computer, and Gerry struggled with the way that Linux sometimes makes simple tasks like playing records difficult. I managed to get away with a couple of my favourite trackss, like Alexander O'Neal's Fake, and Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes' The Love I Lost. I thought we did OK, but I'm relieved we haven't been asked back.


Csilla, Stefan and the Girl Who Only Wears Secondhand Clothes came round for tea. Pudding was apple crumble made from windfall I gathered from the canalside. As I was engaged in the apples' somewhat faffy preparation (they're small, so time you've cut the bad bits out and cored them you don't end up with much fruit), the phone rang. The number started 001. America? On my mobile?

To my delight and surprise, it was the Architect. Our first date ("clever, a good drinker, and fit", I thought) was also our last, as she landed a job in New York and despite a few transatlantic phone calls, we drifted out of touch. She missed Hurricane Sandy (although Glasgow in November isn't much of an improvement).

Assiduous readers of this chronicle might recall that another suitor of hers found out her email password and read our emails to each other. Irked by something in them, he contacted me through the dating site where both of us had met her.

She suggested meeting in Glasgow today but I'm broke and can't get up there. Instead I will wonder anew at the kind of person who asks you if you can play something you can dance to, halfway through this.

10 comments

Comment from: isabelle [Visitor]

The Love I lost… great track.
You know I remember you mentioning ages ago about not playing ‘your’ music with your daughters. It seems a shame given your great taste in music. Some of the best laughs and times I’ve had is sharing music with my girls, the youngest of whom is now completely obsessed with trying to recreate dance moves from the ‘Soul Train’ era.
( when you said about a call from America, for some reason my first thought was that it was going to be from Mr Unbearable ! )

Sat 3rd November 2012 @ 17:26
Comment from: [Member]

Oooh, in a different situation I’d be asking you out. What a lovely way to spend an evening with one’s daughters and I hope they’re enjoying your efforts to get down to Soul Train. That’s great home education. Mine have all chosen dance as an option (whatever “options” are) but have a crap teacher. I love dancing in a way their teacher doesn’t really feel inside.

In case anyone’s life has not been enriched by the Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes track The Love I Lost, here it is, with the nonpareil Teddy Pendergrass on lead vocals.

Sat 3rd November 2012 @ 20:35
Comment from: isabelle [Visitor]
Sun 4th November 2012 @ 10:56
Comment from: [Member]

Oh bloody hell–0.20!

I like the bending backwards ones at 0.50 and the ones a little later who go into slow motion.

This is how we do it in Lytham St Annes.

Sun 4th November 2012 @ 12:29
Comment from: [Member]

oh, lord… hosting a disco night in a working class bar? NOT a good plan. good on you for trying…

Sun 4th November 2012 @ 14:38
Comment from: [Member]

Well, the people I go out dancing with in Lytham and Blackburn and elsewhere are pretty solidly working class and there’s never any problems. Soul music has always been a working class culture. It’s just that particular pub. It’s got a bit of a reputation.

But if you change “working class” to “rough” I get your point. And we lived to tell the tale!

Sun 4th November 2012 @ 16:02
Comment from: nursemyra [Visitor]

MG sounds like a right twat. Love your comeback.

Mon 5th November 2012 @ 07:43
Comment from: [Member]

Thank you! People like MG are good enough at making themselves look ridiculous by themsleves without anyone’s help.

Talking of comebacks–lovely to see you back online, especially with such a cracking photo.

Mon 5th November 2012 @ 09:56

Swirly carpets and glaring lights is an apt description of any Atlantic City casino. You say it like it’s a bad thing. I love ‘em.

Taste in music is so subjective. You can’t please people. Same goes for art, theater, etc., etc.

Don’t you just love those bolts out of the blue? Every morning I wake up thinking I might get a text/email/voice mail from someone who’s still thinking of me.

Do you know Teddy Pendergrass’ Love TKO? Fantastic.

Tue 6th November 2012 @ 12:04
Comment from: [Member]

I thought the swirls and lights in Atlantic City at the moment came from the coastguard!

Although taste in music and art is subjective, mine is the best and people should listen to what I like. Of course I know Love TKO. Teddy Pendergrass is one of my all-time favourite artists.

May I suggest a listen to Is It Still Good To You? I just don’t think music can get much better.

[Edit]: And to prove your point, I’ve just seen on your site that you don’t like Barnett Newman. Dear me, you poor man :)

Thu 8th November 2012 @ 09:27


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