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On the wire
I got into a bit of bother in Glasgow a few weeks ago with an art project whose execution attracted the attention of two officers of the law, who apprehended me whilst I was peaceably wandering around a building site with a pair of pliers, two screwdrivers, some thick wire, a few screws and washers, and, unfortunately, a book about Meibion Glyndŵr, the nationalist arsonists who made Wales a warmer place in the 80s, which was simply my reading matter for the train journey and in no way indicative of my intent.
I still want to do the project but its execution will require more thought than I put into the first attempt, which gave McPlod the impression that I had contravened the Trespass (Scotland) Act 1865. But if I'm reading letter this correctly, I think I've got away with the Scottish equivalent of a caution.
8 comments
so very polite! remarkable, really. here in the US of A? it would have read - “we’re busy. you fucking lucked out. not pressing charges - just watch your arse, fella, okay?”
Yes–I can only say that I was treated civilly at all times by the police. And the chilli con carne that came through the cell door at 5pm ish wasn’t too bad. Tea was white with sugar but you can’t really ask for Darjeeling Orange Pekoe with lemon in a Glasgow police station.
I do not believe that letter would have been approved by the Plain English campaign.
It’s a rather circumlocutionary way of telling me they can’t be arsed with pressing a trespass charge when the rest of the city is going hammmer and tongs at each other with Glasgow’s fuel of sectarianism and alcohol.
I think plain English is often overrated myself and quite like the restrained but still forceful tones of the standard Scottish ‘let you off’ letter there, much more than I like the language used by those uncouth Lancastrian bailiffs we’ve been reading about. I absolutly wouldn’t be messing with that Procurator Fiscal though, I bet he’s a right hard bastard.
When I was a kid I was occasionally cautioned about not tarnishing my “permanent record.” I had no idea what they were talking about but I suppose this qualifies. Mystery solved.
More details about the art installation, please. Photos would help. Here in the U.S.A., the don’t write warnings for that. They issue grants.
Is a PCLO allowed to sign something pp the Chief? Just thinking on a matter of protocol and all that…
J: Just the name “Procurator Fiscal” sounds a bit scary.
UB: I’ll put the photos and other details on when I’ve done it successfully–otherwise I’m looking even more sillier than I felt when I was apprehended.
F: I was just struck by the name. Don’t often come across people called Eel.
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