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Afterwards

  Fri 9th August 2013

Keen to maintain the momentum with Daniella, I text her asking her what she is doing on Monday or Wednesday. I take in my breath when I see her name appear on the phone. I have no idea what her reaction will be.

A little small talk, and then I approach the main question.

"Looby," she says, hesitatingly. "After the other night..." and her voice starts shaking, "I just realised that.. I'm not over my last relationship. I was really upset the day after seeing you. I really didn't realise it'd affect me so much." She's struggling not to cry now. "It's too soon--it's nothing to do with you." She said a couple of utterly lovely, complimentary things about me, which make all my worrying after our "dinner" date seem silly. "I'm sorry--I'm not over it, I'm just not ready yet. I've been dreading telling you."

I tell her it's alright, not to worry, honestly it's alright, I understand. I said that I enjoyed the evening very much too, and I said that if she ever wanted to meet for a coffee or a drink that would be fine, but that I'd leave the ball in her court. We exchanged a couple of gentle and kind texts, and left it like that.

7 comments

If only they could all end like that. Not that it’s pleasurable, but I’ve had things go horribly wrong in the process. It’s an advantage of getting older, I suppose. You see these things for what they are and not take it so personally.

Fri 9th August 2013 @ 14:29
Comment from: [Member]

Yes. She’s clear-sighted and intelligent and honest, with herself and me. I like her for that. The blunt assessment of her own emotions, and the considerateness she showed for my much less intense ones. I’m going to leave it a few months and then send her a friendly text just to say I will be in her village for an unrelated reason and wondering whether she’s about.

Fri 9th August 2013 @ 23:05

Hah, obviously this girl is expert in Dear-Johnning. She dumped you and made YOU feel bad. Hah.

Sun 11th August 2013 @ 03:19
Comment from: [Member]

No, I think those are very good reasons for not being able to continue with it. She’s dealt with it in an exemplary way, despite her being in much more of a tizz than me and has gone up in my estimation as a result.

Sun 11th August 2013 @ 08:29
Comment from: [Member]

The password seems to gone awry with this post so I’ve had to change it.

Sun 11th August 2013 @ 21:41
Comment from: furtheron [Visitor]

Genuine and well handled by her and you. Sounds a shame though, looked like that had legs

Tue 13th August 2013 @ 10:11
Comment from: [Member]

So did she!

Tue 13th August 2013 @ 10:17


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looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person


M / 56 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.


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The Comfort of Strangers

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