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  Fri 9th August 2013

Keen to maintain the momentum with Daniella, I text her asking her what she is doing on Monday or Wednesday. I take in my breath when I see her name appear on the phone. I have no idea what her reaction will be.

A little small talk, and then I approach the main question.

"Looby," she says, hesitatingly. "After the other night..." and her voice starts shaking, "I just realised that.. I'm not over my last relationship. I was really upset the day after seeing you. I really didn't realise it'd affect me so much." She's struggling not to cry now. "It's too soon--it's nothing to do with you." She said a couple of utterly lovely, complimentary things about me, which make all my worrying after our "dinner" date seem silly. "I'm sorry--I'm not over it, I'm just not ready yet. I've been dreading telling you."

I tell her it's alright, not to worry, honestly it's alright, I understand. I said that I enjoyed the evening very much too, and I said that if she ever wanted to meet for a coffee or a drink that would be fine, but that I'd leave the ball in her court. We exchanged a couple of gentle and kind texts, and left it like that.


If only they could all end like that. Not that it’s pleasurable, but I’ve had things go horribly wrong in the process. It’s an advantage of getting older, I suppose. You see these things for what they are and not take it so personally.

Fri 9th August 2013 @ 14:29
Comment from: [Member]

Yes. She’s clear-sighted and intelligent and honest, with herself and me. I like her for that. The blunt assessment of her own emotions, and the considerateness she showed for my much less intense ones. I’m going to leave it a few months and then send her a friendly text just to say I will be in her village for an unrelated reason and wondering whether she’s about.

Fri 9th August 2013 @ 23:05

Hah, obviously this girl is expert in Dear-Johnning. She dumped you and made YOU feel bad. Hah.

Sun 11th August 2013 @ 03:19
Comment from: [Member]

No, I think those are very good reasons for not being able to continue with it. She’s dealt with it in an exemplary way, despite her being in much more of a tizz than me and has gone up in my estimation as a result.

Sun 11th August 2013 @ 08:29
Comment from: [Member]

The password seems to gone awry with this post so I’ve had to change it.

Sun 11th August 2013 @ 21:41
Comment from: furtheron [Visitor]

Genuine and well handled by her and you. Sounds a shame though, looked like that had legs

Tue 13th August 2013 @ 10:11
Comment from: [Member]

So did she!

Tue 13th August 2013 @ 10:17

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looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person

M / 57 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.

There are plenty of bastards who drink moderately. Of course, I don't consider them to be people. They are not our comrades.
Sergei Korovin, quoted in Pavel Krusanov, The Blue Book of the Alcoholic

I am here to change my life. I am here to force myself to change my life.
Chinese man I met during Freshers Week at Lancaster University, 2008

The more democratised art becomes, the more we recognise in it our own mediocrity.
James Meek

Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
Turgenev, Fathers and Sons

I hate the iPod; I hate the idea that music is such a personal thing that you can just stick some earplugs in your ears and have an experience with music. Music is a social phenomenon.
Jeremy Wagner

La vie poetique has its pleasures, and readings--ideally a long way from home--are one of them. I can pretend to be George Szirtes.
George Szirtes

Using words well is a social virtue. Use 'fortuitous' once more to mean 'fortunate' and you move an English word another step towards the dustbin. If your mistake took hold, no-one who valued clarity would be able to use the word again.
John Whale

One good thing about being a Marxist is that you don't have to pretend to like work.
Terry Eagleton, What Is A Novel?, Lancaster University, 1 Feb 2010

The working man is a fucking loser.
Mick, The Golden Lion, Lancaster, 21 Mar 2011

The Comfort of Strangers

23.1.16: Big clearout of the defunct and dormant and dull
16.1.19: Further pruning

If your comment box looks like this, I'm afraid I sometimes can't be bothered with all that palarver just to leave a comment.

63 mago
Another Angry Voice
the asshat lounge
Clutter From The Gutter
Eryl Shields Ink
Exile on Pain Street
Fat Man On A Keyboard
gairnet provides: press of blll defunct, but retained for its quality
George Szirtes ditto
Guitars and Life
Infomaniac [NSFW]
The Joy of Bex
Laudator Temporis Acti
London's Singing Organ-Grinder
The Most Difficult Thing Ever
Strange Flowers
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Wonky Words

"Just sit still and listen" - woman to teenage girl at Elliott Carter weekend, London 2006

Bristol New Music
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Golden Pages for Musicologists
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The Rambler
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Sequenza 21
Sound and Music
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