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My teetotal mother tries porter
8 comments
I’m terribly sorry, Suzy and smallbeds – I forgot to acknowledge your comments on the last post. Thanks both for your good wishes. The worst of the immediate financial pressure has gone but in the medium / long term, I don’t want to continue with this arrangement.
All the best to you all, Suzy and J and J-P and K, for the New Year.
Oh, it’s ORGANIC, is it? Well, then, by all means, carry on. If I drank that much I’d require hospitalization. I actually wish that weren’t the case. It tends to make me feel out of step with polite society.
Who drinks porter through a straw? She was asking for it.
Good lord, what is a GIMP suit. My mind races. It sounds like a marital aid. You should ask your sister if your tipsiness was properly concealed.
And you’ll fuck her again. You might just as well wish you could stop the ocean from meeting the shore. You can’t stop biology.
Are you ready for your January drying-out?
My wife, and now, 13-year old, stock the linen closet with all manner of lady-things. They come cascading down when I open the door. I live in a hen house.
Happy new year. Still the best blog on the block.
Bathroom baskets - you either get a set of raffia-y drawers from Argos for about £20, which will rapidly mould in the damp atmosphere, or open plastic rectangular baskets from Poundworld if you’ ve got any sense. Sorry, on behalf of women - we use a lot of Stuff!
Talking of damp atmospheres, my Christmas was shite - rowed with my Dad Xmas Eve, my sister Xmas Day, and have spent the last 24 hours in the bathroom having caught norovirus off the baby, who projectile-vomited throughout the “festivities".
Exile: Thank you, you’re very kind.
I often feel out of sync with polite society :) But fortunately I move in the semi-secret society of heavy but functioning drinkers so there’s no shame between us.
Gimp suits – this might explain. My sister’s was thinner and lime green and a bit less BDSMy.
I think the plan is to go sober during February. It’s shorter and there’s a couple of important social occasions in January.
Trina suggested that by “baskets” she meant those suspended tiered baskets about 8 inches across. Oh dear, this is going to be an education into feminine mysteries!
Thanks Suzy – yes the plastic poundland tat sounds more my area!
Sorry to hear about your lergy. Rowing in December? I didn’t have you down as that hardy, to be honest. I’ve got a wedding this afternoon and have a bit of the lergy lurking in the background so it’ll be canapes and Lemsips this afternoon. All the best to you and get well soon X
I’m with Suzy on the baskets, go to pound land, they’ll have a whole load to choose from I expect.
I’m not sure why we ( women) have so much bathroomy stuff when soap and water ( almost) suffices.
My Dad has had gout this Christmas,an ailment I hope never comes your way as he was a right pain in the arse along with the excruciating pain in his foot.
Hope you have a great NYE, and everything you wish for in 2015!
xxx
I was convinced I had gout a couple of years ago so went to the doc, but apparently it’s arthritis. She said it wasm’t gout because I wasn’t in enough pain. So I can sort of imagine how bad it must have been for your Dad and those around him.
All the various potions and lotions women have – 95% of the ingredients of them are the same. But I suppose it keeps people in work.
We’ll do our best to have a good one tomorrow night – been draping the fairy lights around the tinsel this evening.
The ladies here seem to have explained the baskets situation. Another option (to further confound you) is the ‘carrier basket’ – used in university dormitory situations, she could assemble all of her toiletry items into a small plastic carrier, and just bring it in with her as needed. Or not. If she’s paying rent, best to find her some semi-permanent space. Best option? Ask her what the hell she means!
“We’re poor, we’ve got to be nice; it’s the only currency we’ve got.” There’s a dark truth in this. Perhaps more of us should be poorer?
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