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I have had enough

  Wed 25th March 2015

Down the pub with Vic and Wilma. Everything's fine. Back home Trina asks me if she was flirting with Vic. "Yes, you were." "What, obviously?" "Well, it doesn't matter. It's nice to be fancied." Then, somehow, the conversation leads me into saying that it wouldn't bother me if they went to bed together. She got all tearful, saying that I am heartless and don't care about her and so on, then stood up, went outside and got into her car, and at the back end of a bottle-and-a-half of wine, drove herself home.

I've seen all this so many times before I simply ignore her. This evening, three concilatory emails arrive. But I've had enough now.

I'm not sure .... I think we've tried this before and it always ends up the same way. I absolutely abhor and detest from the bottom of my soul, stomach and mind -- I cannot tell you how much -- all this endless drama, and it's bound to happen again. I really am way beyond the far, outermost limits of the amount of crisis and crying and teenagerisms that I can stand. I want an easygoing, carefree life and that's not going to happen with you I'm afraid, due to the irreconcilable imbalance in feeling. I'm acutely aware of my own mortality and to waste what little time I've got left on things that aren't enjoyable isn't attractive to me. I am very happy to be shallow and that's how I intend to run the rest of my life.

I can't be with anyone with whom I have to watch what I am saying. Women bang on about honesty then don't like it when they get it. This is why men sometimes think it's just easier, just to get a quiet life, to lie. You have also said some very unkind things to me over the past couple of years and whilst I am more than happy to be criticised, yours is not a helpful criticism that I can learn from. I am not interested in defending myself in the lunatic asylum that is your head, but I would just say, as a statement of fact, that I am anything but cold and heartless. Of all the things you've said to me, that's the one that comes closest to hurting me.

I am also tired of your relentless paranoia -- my "dirty little secrets" as you called it this morning. I have tried absolutely every trick I have to try to talk you out of this -- up to and including roping Chris in to make fake phone calls in order to make you see the funny side of it, but nothing works, and I'm out of ideas now.

So I think we should call it a day. I don't think you're ready for someone like me. I know how big-headed that sounds and it's not meant like that. I just mean we're at different stages of life. I feel like the older one sometimes. I know this will make you bridle but you need someone more conservative and staid who won't keep upsetting you, as I seem to do by dint of me being me.

You are a very kind, generous and funny girl and I've had some lovely times with you which I will remember fondly. But I am tired to the point of exhaustion with all this fucking discussion and meta-analysis of a life, rather than just enjoying it.

So --- moving on to practical things -- I'm definitely going to the do in St Annes on Saturday and if I see you there that would be fine. Given that I thought you weren't coming I've asked Italian Looking Woman and Wendy along. Wendy almost certainly won't be able to get a passport off her husband by then, and Italian Looking Woman's on a date with a new fella on Friday so won't be able to tell me till Saturday -- I think she's hoping it might turn into 48 hours in bed -- so if you'd like to go you take the hotel room, and whatever happens I'll find my own way back or Italian Looking Woman will drive.

Just now though, your cruel, heartless, unfeeling, and cold friend is off to bury some more of his dirty little secrets.

20 comments

You can craft a kiss-off letter like nobody else. Sad, though. It all made for such succulent blog posts. The quiet life might be more to your liking but as an audience member, I can’t say I approve of this long-expected development.

Thu 26th March 2015 @ 10:37
Comment from: [Member]

Oh don’t worry – if all else fails there’s the acute financial problems to go back to.

Thu 26th March 2015 @ 13:07
Comment from: [Member]

Ah… twenty-five past four. Time for some disco!


Thu 26th March 2015 @ 16:25
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

Hello sailor.

I saw it coming long ago. You knew this would be the outcome of the story.

But you made it clear to her in the past and she was warned. What a pity it didn’t happen earlier. It would have saved you lots of tears and arguments. I really hope life becomes more relaxed for the two of you and don’t doubt that you will still be offering excellent posts to your followers.

Be safe.

Thu 26th March 2015 @ 16:41
Comment from: [Member]

Oh at last! I gave that nasty bouncer a rollicking and told him you’re on the guest list.

The “relationship” with Trina has only ever existed in her head. I hope this finally draws a line under everything and yes — a period of calm will now ensue.

Nice to see you back here Leni.

Thu 26th March 2015 @ 16:58
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

My pleasure, Looby. It’s always great to visit you.

I hope you soon find your nirvana.

Thu 26th March 2015 @ 17:04
Comment from: Suzy Southwold [Visitor]

Just did the Big Personality Quiz and apparently I could be 3% happier living in the Ribble Valley. But I fucking hate rain so I’m staying here.

Thu 26th March 2015 @ 18:00
Comment from: [Member]

You certainly don’t live in Lancashire for the weather. It doesn’t even rain properly here – it just drizzles and drizzles for hours and days on end. I liked it when I lived in Madeira. The rain came down like it was being poured from a giant bucket. Then it went away and the sun came out.

Thu 26th March 2015 @ 18:11
Comment from: [Member]

You may think you’re done, but she’s not… be prepared for some hysterics should you happen across each other in the future. She’s not going to let you be in peace until she falls for someone else. i almost feel sorry for her, but you’ve repeatedly told her to lay off the drama and she simply can’t…

Fri 27th March 2015 @ 02:54
Comment from: [Member]

Fuck…. Daisy — you are so right. I don’t think it’s the end of it by any stretch of the imagination. It’s going to run and run until she sees me happily enjoying myself with someone else in a way that she can’t offer me. Only then will she realise and back off.

She says she’s in love with me — well that puts me off for a start. What that actually means is “I would like you to tie yourself into a set of conventions of social behaviour, chief of which is sexual fidelity.” Fuck that. And saying you love someone to someone else is to volunteer yourself to a prison sentence. No fucking way.

Fri 27th March 2015 @ 04:23
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

She’s in love with her idea of you.

If you tell her where you will be on Saturday, she will follow you around like a lost puppy. Maybe you could find someone for her to hook up with. Perhaps better than being cruel to be kind.

Fri 27th March 2015 @ 07:20
Comment from: [Member]

I don’t want to be cruel to anyone — and certainly not Trina but yes, it’d be such a relief and a delight to me for her to meet someone who can say and do all the conventional things she expects.

But you would not believe though Lena, how all but impossible it is to meet single, nice, people of a similar age in Lancaster. Eliminate the lunatics, the ones looking for a social worker and not a lover, the already married or partnered, and the pool of available partners here is virtually non-existent.

Fri 27th March 2015 @ 11:25
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

I presume that you tried to break up the nicest way possible and avoid cruelty. But sometimes exes find it hard to come to terms with reality and if you break up only to get back together a week later, then you are setting a dangerous precedence.

I don’t think it’s Lancaster, Looby. The older we get, the more difficult it becomes to meet new people. We can sometimes find ourselves becoming a bit more reserved, choosier, pickier and a little less open to change. And that’s fine because as adults, we know quite well what we want and what we don’t want. It happens everywhere.

Leni (not Lena).

Fri 27th March 2015 @ 18:54
Comment from: [Member]

Sorry about the typo in your name Leni.

I’ve tried breaking it off over and over again and she doesn’t listen. She doesn’t want to hear it. I had to escalate it to this nuclear level to get anything moving.

And I suppose you’re right about getting more fussy as wel get older. I certainly think I put the effort it though, and that won’t stop. I’m not tired of the game yet, even though the results are so poor.

Sat 28th March 2015 @ 12:20
Comment from: gossamer beynon [Visitor]

It’s never too early for disco.

Sat 28th March 2015 @ 18:29
Comment from: furtheron [Visitor]

I’m with Daisy… in the words of another Terminator… “She’ll be back” If only cos she thinks that is how it should be

Sun 29th March 2015 @ 20:01
Comment from: [Member]

GB – I don’t like it for breakfast but apart from that you’re right.

F – she will be. Her own life isn’t enough so she has to leech off mine.

Sun 29th March 2015 @ 22:47
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

Hey. Wake up. Easter is over.

Wed 8th April 2015 @ 09:34
Comment from: [Member]

I’ve not risen yet.

Wed 8th April 2015 @ 13:24
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

Wake up, you sleepyhead. Your readers are waiting to hear from you.

Fri 10th April 2015 @ 07:58


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