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I fondle Kitty's undergarments

  Thu 9th June 2016

I'm not sure how I agreed to take some faulty bras of Kitty's back to Debenhams, but I did. I said I could be in when she dropped them round. "Well you don't have to be. They'll fit through the letterbox, looby. They're not that big!"

I got in and rang her to say I'd take them back next day. "Thanks. Don't spend too much time with them tonight will you, otherwise you'll never get a refund."

At Debenhams I was led through a lingerie department of Father Ted proportions, displays fronted by varnished cardboard girls. I was receipt-less, and the sceptical assistant thought that the fault, a bit of the underwiring poking up at the middle, might have been caused by her buying the wrong size, but we haggled a bit and settled on a 50% refund.


Other news in brief.

Someone's stolen my bike. Chained up, and in broad daylight.

I had my blood pressure taken and I've got prehypertension, although the nurse said not to worry about it too much. I might have it done again after a few days of clean living, whenever that may be. Wish I hadn't bothered now.

I've lost all my keys, my camera, a really nice bag that work gave me a couple of months ago, and most seriously of all, the card for the gas meter.

I applied for another receptionist job, this time with an agency firm which deals with railways and construction. Didn't get an interview.

Kim rang. She's coming over weekend after next. I went to bed and tried to imagine having sex with her but I couldn't; it seemed absurd. All these sexless female friendships.

I've got to appear at the Magistrates Court sometime this month for not paying my Council Tax.

Trina sent me an email telling me that she loves me and can't imagine life without me. She said that her demented mother had said "Jeremy's coming round for tea." "Oh really, that's nice. Afternoon tea?" "No, Edmonton tea. It's a harder tea, with alcohol."

7 comments

Comment from: J-P [Visitor]

Oh, no. Cycle thieves are so fucking tedious. Like anyone’s ever likely to get much for a hot second-hand bike, unless it’s something posh and riskily traceable.

Sorry to hear about your woes. Maybe you should cheer yourself up by drinking Edmonton tea out of a beautiful lady’s underwired bra?

Fri 10th June 2016 @ 09:10
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Yes, there’s lot of competition for the lowest of the low but it was particularly annoying as I’d just had some work done on it ready for summer.

Edmonton tea – I’m wondering whether she means the more sedate version favoured in north London or the racier Canandian one. Both are new on me.

Fri 10th June 2016 @ 13:39
Comment from: Tony [Visitor]

Looks like Trina’s shag has gone to her head :-)

Sun 12th June 2016 @ 11:20

I just read in my journals about my friend Cindy having her bike stolen. A few weeks later, we were out walking in the east village and a Chinese delivery boy rode by on her bike. She had filed a police report with a description of the bike so she called the coppers. They came straight away and made the delivery boy give the bike back. Last I saw he was standing on a sidewalk with bags of Chinese food. I told Cindy that was a bit mean and she got mad at me. She said those guys know they’re buying stolen goods and he deserved what he got.

Mon 13th June 2016 @ 11:40
Comment from: [Member]

Tony – Trina’s gone somewhere warm for a few days so she might have been getting a bit excited about lounging around in the taverna, lucky girl.

Exile – If I knew who had pinched it, I wouldn’t bother with the police, I’d get one of my dodgy mates to smash his head in.

Mon 13th June 2016 @ 11:45
Comment from: Furtheron [Visitor]

I’ve found the only sure way to ensure continuous bike ownership is to simply leave it in my garage locked up. If I ride it anywhere I’ll be walking home!

I hate that point in the shopping trip when the wife says. Oh must pop into M&S I know I’ll follow her blindly into the lingerie dept not realising until I realise 20 other women are all looking at me like I’m a certain DJ celebrity of old. I normally then mutter… I’m off to Smith’s to look at magazines… see you outside there.

Wed 15th June 2016 @ 16:35
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

One advantage of not having a girlfriend is never having to go shopping.

Bike theft is a big problem round here. Lancaster has one of the lowest crime rates in the county but bike theft remains stubbornly resistant to the overall trend.

Wed 15th June 2016 @ 16:55


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M / 56 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

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