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Minimum wage

  Mon 9th October 2017

It's all crashing down.

My bike's been stolen again; and now that I have a month's bank statements to look back on since I started this new job, I've been through the figures.

Pay: 540 (for a full-time job)

Rent 250
Council Tax 90
Gas 27
Electricity 30
Internet 25
Debt repayments 25

540 - 447 = 93/month.

Three pounds a day.

Until I can find something else, that's going to be quite a challenge. I'm an adept shoplifter, and I can cook; the drugs should pay for themselves by their retail markup. It's the drink and the going out dancing that's going to be the problem. It's almost laughable, except that -- or rather, because -- it's real.


Edit, 12 noon

My girls have all gone to good universities or drama schools. While their new friends may be sitting around "oh, my father's a management consultant" or "oh, my father's a civil engineer," my daughters might soon be able to say "well, my father's a Christmas Elf."

6 comments

Comment from: Homer [Visitor]

I’m sorry, I’ve read this three times and I can’t get past “You earn what now?”

How do they get away with it?

Mon 9th October 2017 @ 18:05 Reply to this comment
Comment from: [Member]

It’s piece work, so I’m paid £5 for every page of a website I do, which has got to be about 300 words (and it’s not just a case of writing the words either, there’s more to it than that and £5 is way, way under what you should get). When I started, I worked out that I would be coming out with about 250 a month. I raised this with my immediate superior, who told me that “thing is looby, you’re writing original copy for everyone.”

Erm… but isn’t this what a copywriter does? Talking – ideally meeting but there’s no budget for me even to go to Preston let alone Manchester or Glasgow say – to your client and building up a picture of what they’re doing and their USPs, then honing something down then knocking it back and forth until they’re happy? That’s copywriting to me, partly anyway.

Oh no. I was told to just crib from other people’s websites. “Just copy and paste it and change it around a bit so that Google’s plagiarism detectors won’t discover it.”

Fucking hell, what a pile o shite!

Anyway, in an advance announcement, I’ve resigned. If I’m going to be destitute I’d be better off using the time applying for jobs that attain to the dizzy heights of the minimum wage.

Mon 9th October 2017 @ 18:49 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

Good on you for chucking that gig, that’s indentured servant shite right there… ever think about expanding the black market business? add a few people and put a few bob in the wallet? just a thought, i know it’s always served me well…

Tue 10th October 2017 @ 17:34 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

It has crossed me mind to expand it from the friends-only operation at the moment. The other day me and Wendy were talking about jobs, and I said “well, I’ve already got the ideal job for me, it’s just it’s very part-time.”

Thu 12th October 2017 @ 11:40 Reply to this comment
Comment from: daisyfae [Visitor]

david sedaris turned a christmas elf gig into a one man show that continues to pack theaters in my part of the world during the holidays. go for it!

Mon 23rd October 2017 @ 17:07 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

It’s great isn’t how some people manage to make careers out of mall periods in their lives.

I’ve got a Plan B in case I am not wanted as an Elf, but I hope I am. There might be career development to be had in the New Year as an Easter Chick.

Wed 25th October 2017 @ 18:56 Reply to this comment


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