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I have uninteresting sex in Liverpool

  Sat 22nd February 2020

The squalor of a commercial kitchen. What I have given up. Taking the discarded food out. Scraping. Slurry, bins, cold sausages, the unfed.

"No, no, don't do it up," I say with alarm, moving her hand away from her hem. Hayley's new black miniskirt has big silver buttons down the front, and she's noticed that the last one is unbuttoned, a V over her glossy blackly-tighted thighs. "No, leave it like that, it shows off your legs." If I had a girlfriend I'd turn her into sex. I'd spend all my money on dresses and lingerie and test how good fucking her was in all of them. Pull it up, pull her knickers aside but keep everything on. They all think I'm gay.

"Do you think she's pretty?" I say, tilting to the barmaid. "Hmm. Yeah. But not as much as me." A twinge of irritation at her. Never enough.

Sitting down the pub straight from work watching Wales v France. The two men sat next to me start clapping loudly at a French try. I'm offended. "Why you clapping at that?" "Because we're French."

A woman with false eyelashes introduces herself and asks me to to take a picture of her and her friends. "No, no, it's alright," her friend says, refusing the picture. I feel sorry for her. She's a bit fat, and the refusal of a group photo is a rejection, elided somehow with her fatness.

Trina doesn't want to go to the house music weekender that we've bought tickets for and I've turned down work for and travelled from Bristol to Liverpool for. We get pissed, and have sex. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" It's dull sex in the missionary position. I wish she could stop commentating. She doesn't want to suck my cock nor offer herself from behind. She finds sex a mixture of the comical and the disgusting. She's good company outside of bed though.


Comment from: Scarlet [Visitor]

Ack. You’ve just reminded me that I don’t like showing off my legs, and I don’t think I’ve worn a skirt since 2001.

Sun 23rd February 2020 @ 14:24 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

But even a sonewhat nostalgic Miss such as yourself must know that a well chosen pair of tights can sheen a wide range of pins.

Sun 23rd February 2020 @ 16:57 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

I often debate if uninteresting or boring sex is better than no sex at all and verse vice-a… may just depend on the partner or how often, at this rate i’d take uninteresting just to remind myself what it’s like to have another person in the room, lol!!

Sun 23rd February 2020 @ 22:44 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Well, I’m not fussy myself. I take what I can get.

Mon 24th February 2020 @ 06:14 Reply to this comment
Comment from: Jonathan [Visitor]

Yes, there is definitely only one experience in that post that will be markedly improved by access to commentary- and that is the Six Nations Rugby. For the other one I have no need of having the rules explained to me as we go along, thank you very much.

Tue 25th February 2020 @ 22:32 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

It’s not always good to talk.

Tue 25th February 2020 @ 22:50 Reply to this comment

There’s nothing more tedious than tedious sex. Don’t ask me how I know. Just take my word for it.

Wed 26th February 2020 @ 11:38 Reply to this comment
Comment from: daisyfae [Visitor]

i’m fortunate to be in a relationship that allows for a quick fuck, just for one/both of us to get to sleep. we don’t pretend that it needs to be epic, just that one or both of us needs to vent the pipes. and there’s certainly no need for commentary or performance! we still have more raucous tangles - mood, drugs, alcohol, and situation dependent. and then there’s still a physical relationship with another couple - where i’m just as hot for ‘her’ as ‘him’.

but sex is getting less frequent, and it seems we’re both ok with that… i don’t know if i could manage ‘tedious’ these days. would be more likely to put a pillow over a face and be done with it…

Sat 29th February 2020 @ 02:32 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Exile – yes, I wish we hadn’t bothered now. I don’t remember that bit of the morning fondly. I suppose it helped Trina feel a bit more bonded to me, I don’t know.

DF, I am attempting to stifle my jealousy at such an arrangement (arrangements). Unsuccessfully.

Mon 2nd March 2020 @ 08:22 Reply to this comment

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looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person

M / 60 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.

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