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  Thu 7th May 2020

Trina is displeased with me for breaking the curfew with Hayley. I don't regret doing so, I just wish I'd not told her. She says she wants nothing to do with me. She sent the email saying so at dinnertime, before she'd have started on the pop, so it might be serious.

I'm resigned to it, although Wendy said that it's mixed up with her jealousy of Hayley and that she'll be back; I'm not sure. It was dreary sex, but we did a good line in drunken blather. It'll be a spur to make more friends in Bristol rather than relying on someone who lives two hundred miles away. Here, it's Hayley, my friend from my stint in the cafe at Parks and Carks, and that's it.

Well, it was a great decade and I hope we can be friendly when this is all over and we start going out again. I've shared my musical taste with you, and I'm very glad to see you adopting it. I'll get you a drink, if only to see you throw it over my face and create a scene. We need a public spat my love -- that's one thing lacking so far.

Patronising, flippant, ungracious.

I went round to The Big House yesterday morning. The joy of making a social call. Sexy ex-boss and my fellow housekeeper were in the huge vestibule, ripping up cardboard, finding something to do. We went into what would have been the drawing room. Tall windows; sun-drenched, quiet furnishings; kilo upon kilo of curtain. Instant coffee, strange and unpleasant.

Her husband turned up and shook my hand. "You shouldn't be doing that," said Sexy, knowingly saying the opposite of what she meant. "It's bollocks, isn't it?" said hubby. I felt naughty and relaxed, with other people refusing to do the two metre tango.

Karen asked me if I'd like to come back to work there again when this is finished. I hadn't expected that and was boyishly pleased.

I had a letter from the doctor's the other day. As a result of the responses I made to a questionnaire I filled in when I joined the practice, I am to be invited in to discuss my "pattern of drinking." I'd say it was circular, myself.


Comment from: Jonathan [Visitor]

Section one: I don’t think your reply is either patronising, flippant, or ungracious. At least not more of any of those things than is entirely appropriate.

Section Two: I don’t think he should be going out of his way to shake your hand. But (unlike Trina there) I’m not going to make a song and dance about it. The offer of a job on the other hand- that’s worth a tango, in anybody’s money. I’m going to perform one now, in my backyard.

Section three: this reminds me of watching PlaySchool on BBC in the seventies, with my sister. The round window, the square one or the arched one. I’m saying your drinking is arched. And just occasionally, arch. Definitely not square.

(Abby used to always cheat by the she’d ‘guess’ square window, when it was by that time very clear that’s where the camera was zooming in. Not that I have in any way retained this perception for an unhealthy amount of time vis a vis sibling rivalry or anything else).

Thu 7th May 2020 @ 22:55 Reply to this comment
Comment from: [Member]

I just wish I hadn’t put the bit in about bestowing my musical taste upon her. It’s true, but there’s no need to say it de haut en bas.

I’d love to go back to The Big House, but it was only ever a few hours a week.

I found it a frustrating experience guessing those windows on Play School. I couldn’t work out the pattern. They really did seem to choose them randomly.

Fri 8th May 2020 @ 09:26 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

I’d wager to say dreary sex is better than no sex at all but at the same time won’t be missed as much as if it was then mind-blowing toe-curling variety…

Now i wonder if the job back at the big house will turn up the opportunity to shag the missus while the hubby is away? One never can tell you know, stranger things have happened…

And i once had a doctor ask me what i thought of my drug use, in a word i told him, excellent.

Sat 9th May 2020 @ 01:10 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Sorry kono, I did reply before but as these sites often do, it swallowed and erased it.

I was tickled about your response to the doctor (as I imagine they were too).

Yes…a bit of summer fun in The Big House would be lovely. I’m missing it a bit. The warm weather, you know :)

Sun 10th May 2020 @ 09:52 Reply to this comment
Comment from: Jonathan [Visitor]

The round window, the arched window.. or the excellent window!

Abby by the way has privately admitted to a lengthy preschool career of BBC window-guess cheating…some kind of ‘technical issue’ has prevented this revelation being shared with the ‘world wide web’ via this very portal, apparently. But I think we all know how history will judge this question of our times.

Sat 9th May 2020 @ 23:35 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Don’t be too harsh on her. Think of the burden she’s been carrying round all these years.

Sun 10th May 2020 @ 09:50 Reply to this comment

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Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
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