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A long-winded proposal

  Sat 22nd August 2020

Thursday. Mel rings and wonders what I'm up to. I'm very pleased to hear from her. After the usual preambles, it ends up where I know it will: in the pub. She suggests a country walk, which I'd be interested in, knowing that with Mel it never lasts more than an hour or two, but I have wrenched my ankle and bashed my coccyx, in an accident of which I have only the recall of its pain, not how it happened. I plead injury, and she agrees to meet in the pub.

As I'm walking through town to get the bus, I notice a trendy burger shop is advertising a very expensive beer which uses my uncommon surname in its title. "Hiya, can you just have a drink?" "Well, we have to serve it with food. Just some chips or something?" "OK, it's just because that beer -- that's my surname."

"Oh well, I'll just put a portion of chips through on the house." I thought they'd do just that, but they cooked them and brought them out to me with my eponymous beer. When I went to pay, they said they had a spare glass from the brewery, which they'd already wrapped and put in a wee cardboard box, and presented it to me. People are so kind to me, all the time.

I advise Mel I am near the pub. A woman in a white top and sunglasses is bustling up the hill. I don't recognise her at first. Mel's a plain dresser normally.

We sit in the garden. The arrangement isn't as good. I'm facing her; I want to be next to her. I shuffle our chairs a bit. Kissing, a bit leaning, a bit of an effort but nothing if it means kissing her. She has on this lovely white top. Curved little high collar, V-neck, and an arrangement of buttons doubled at stations of the cleavage. I gently pull the bottom of her shirt down. She undoes the two top buttons.

I pull myself away from her and make my proposal, tortuously. "Mel," and I place my hands on the table in a gesture of honesty. "We never got married but had he been my father-in-law, Kirsty's dad once said to her, and I think it's good this, 'always ask. What's the worst I can say? No'. Well, look, I was just wondering if on Sunday you'd like to um..."

She finishes it for me. "Have sex?" I laugh and kiss her on her head. "Well, as you might have noticed, I fancy you and I just think it'd be a nice way to spend an afternoon on Sunday. Everyone's going to be out at my house. We'd have the place to ourselves. Might be nicer than a bus stop."

"I'm not sure looby. It always changes things." "Not for me it wouldn't Mel." "I don't know, things become different afterwards." "You'll carry on being you, as I will."

There's no-one in the garden and I'm all over her again, us both glancing doorwards to see if anyone's coming in. "Do you want a feel?" she says, and puts my hands on her tits. I quash a laugh about her phrase, as sophisticated as me saying to her two weeks ago "come on, give us a snog." But the act is lovely, playing with her buttons, tugging her blouse down to show her tits off better for my sex-gaze. She smiles down at herself being fancied.

The agreement is sealed and I go home and spend two days trying and failing not to masturbate, before Richard (our co-lodger) tells me he might be in and out all day as he moves into his new house.

I ring her to tell her that we will not be able to liaise in our intended way, "but were you inclined to meet me in the Suffolk Arms in that white blouse you had on on Thursday I'd be very happy to meet you."

"Well I know you're moving so don't worry if you're busy with that..." "No, of course Mel, if there's a possibility I could spend Sunday afternoon assembling an IKEA shelving unit rather than spending some time with someone I slightly fancy, of course I'll choose assembling the shelving unit."

I tell Kitty all about it. Part of what she says is "be generous to her in all ways."


Comment from: Jonathan [Visitor]

Sounds like good and well-meant advice, that.

Sat 22nd August 2020 @ 23:15 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

It is. I’ve told Kitty I’ve written it out and put it on my mantelpiece.

Sun 23rd August 2020 @ 08:11 Reply to this comment
Comment from: Scarlet [Visitor]

I could write it out in calligraphy for you and send it on.
So, you’ll be in that pub right now!

Sun 23rd August 2020 @ 13:53 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

That would make an absolutely lovely present for someone!

We had a lovely evening. I think me and Mel are having a little romance here.

Mon 24th August 2020 @ 07:49 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

You know there’s a Scottish ale that is my surname except for a slight change in one vowel, the typical Jock same clan different spelling thing, lol!

And it’s good to see you’ve got some prospects in the shagging department, you’re doing much better than me… had one on the line but i gathered she wasn’t taking the pandemic all that seriously and i can’t afford to bring it home with the boyos and all, besides i believe she supported the Orange Shitgibbon and while part of me relished pounding away while at the right wing another part was repulsed… i’ll keep looking though, man cannot live on weed and shrooms alone! though lucky for me i caught up with my young friend who replenished my supply… relished, repulsed, replenished, got a lot of Rs going on today… good stuff as usual mate!!

Fri 28th August 2020 @ 12:27 Reply to this comment
Comment from: [Member]

No, political differences are a barrier sometimes. Glad to see your R-number up :)

Sorry for the late reply – been in Croatia. More on this story later. And at least kono, you’ve still got the ability to attract. All the best from Bristol.

Sat 5th September 2020 @ 20:00 Reply to this comment
Comment from: daisyfae [Visitor]

She is delightful! Where i’m at in life, i’m always a bit surprised if someone pays sexual attention to me - denial at first, then joy. “Me? You really want to touch ME?” I can almost feel that from your description of Mel’s response to your attention! She is charming! i hope it all goes well for you both!

Sun 6th September 2020 @ 04:26 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Thanks DF! I love touching her, and the feeling, I think, – well, more or less know – is mutual. It’s a fab situation to be in. It’s horrible feeling this pariah, this sexless leper. Mel’s changed all that.

Thu 10th September 2020 @ 15:49 Reply to this comment

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M / 60 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

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