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Loose bra, no knickers

  Fri 15th October 2021

Another day, another scooter accident.

The one a few weeks ago was more physically debilitating; this one added an additional injury: to my confidence. I slipped on some cobbles which were slimed with wet leaves. I sat down on the grass to compose myself, and a passing couple gave me some tissues with which to wipe the blood away from just above my eye. With the accompanying damage to my cheek, I looked hard for a week or so.

I got back in the saddle as soon as I could. The security guard in Sainsbury's asked me how fast my scooter could go. "Well, only twenty, but that's enough."

"Well, you don't want to be going too fast at your age."

I was going to argue the point, but my leg, eye, cheek, knee, shin and hip were a little sore.

Trina and I were supposed to have been in Croatia this week, but we decided the testing regime is too worrying a thing to carry with you on holiday, so she invited me up to hers. Mel went a bit quiet when I announced my plans.

At Birmingham New Street, a tramp-like shoplifter offered me a litre of vodka. We settled on £7. On the train back down, the man sitting opposite me offered me some vodka and iced tea, which we sat drinking out of cardboard cups. He was chatty and generous, talking about his twins and his job as a night porter, and repeatedly refilling my cup.

He did his best to include the willowy woman next to us. She was content with her coffee, but we all talked easily. It was a trio which could only be composed on a train, consisting of a retired consultant dermatologist, a Polish pisshead, and an English one.

As he got off, he presented me with a bottle of the stuff we'd been drinking.

Thank you Witold!

It went very well with Trina. I was indulged even before I got there, with help with my train fare, and she was generous with the bill division whilst I was there. The women in my life treat me so well. A good deal of drinking, but had a day in Port Sunlight and the Lady Lever Art gallery there, a pleasure for fans of the reclining Victorian nuddy woman. It also holds Joseph Farquharson's Hallmarked and Clintonised picture of sheep in winter.

She drove us to Middlesbrough to see my mum, my sister, and the latter's debut solo art exhibition. Some good photography: the iron arches of Darlington station; a long, rough stone (sewage?) pipe stretching into the North Sea. Some less good textual pieces which show the influence of Farce Book.

In a cheap chain pub, one of a trio of coarse, tightly-T-shirted men said loudly as I walked past, "gotta be a paedo."

Back at Trina's, the local paper reports, with a relish I am afraid I enjoyed, some details of a fraud case involving a pensioner and a younger Italian woman.


Comment from: Scarlet [Visitor]

Nice’n'Naughty in Chester!!! It has a tittering ring to it - sounds like a right carry on.
Sorry to read that you’ve had another accident, at least the scooter hasn’t been stolen again.

Sun 17th October 2021 @ 15:25 Reply to this comment
Comment from: Looby [Visitor]

I think most people enjoy a bit of needlessly revealing salacious gossip in the local newspaper. At least, I hope it’s not just me.

Sun 17th October 2021 @ 19:34 Reply to this comment
Comment from: Eryl [Visitor]

The women in your life do seem to be unusually good to you, you must deserve it.

Hope you’ve recovered from your accident.

Mon 18th October 2021 @ 15:23 Reply to this comment
Comment from: [Member]

Well, I’m always very grateful when I am treated well. A great deal of kindness is shown me, all the time.

And thanks – the physical scars have gone but I still haven’t got my swerve and swagger fully back yet.

Mon 18th October 2021 @ 21:55 Reply to this comment

Yo Loobs, Or it is Limpalong?! Seems Bristol is phat! ‘appen, aye ;-)

Wed 20th October 2021 @ 09:09 Reply to this comment
Comment from: Looby [Visitor]

Awwraat ma lav lee?

Well the council workers have obviously lost touch with their dealers because they’ve taken them away! Boo, hiss!

Wed 20th October 2021 @ 18:33 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

I think that’s a most reasonable request if i’ve ever heard one… loose bra, no knickers… sounds like a chap i could get on with ;)

and i think i need to have you teach me how to get the women in my life to treat me as well as the ones in yours treat you… you charming bastard you :)

Wed 20th October 2021 @ 22:30 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

goddam internetz eating me damn comments again!! of coure this one will work….

Wed 20th October 2021 @ 22:31 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

Seems to me that’s a reasonable request from the old boy… loose bra, no knickers… seems the kind of chap i’d get on well with ;)

and i need you to teach me how to get the women in my life to treat me as well as the ones in yours treat you… you charming bastard you ;)

Wed 20th October 2021 @ 22:32 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

I quite understand the “no knickers” stipulation, it’s just the “loose bra” which puzzles me slightly. What, one too big for her?

I think anyone reading your blog would soon recognise your charm too. I feel the odd twinge of envy sometimes to be honest! It’s not looks, height, income, or coolness with me. My best guess is that I say things that sometimes people might be thinking themselves but are afraid to say. But I really don’t know. I’ve acted in a caddish manner many times but maybe the source is that I actually like women. I’m not sure one can say that about all men.

Wed 20th October 2021 @ 22:48 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

That’s an excellent point about actually liking women… i’ll be honest and say i probably go back and forth in that area, though i wonder if my past/current experiences have influenced my thinking and such… but in those late nights of staring at the floor on mushrooms if i’m honest with myself that i’ve always been a lad, hanging with the mates until it’s time to go and then a woman comes into play… maybe not all the one’s i’ve known but a good bit… i guess i am just a bastard ;)

Fri 29th October 2021 @ 13:30 Reply to this comment
Comment from: [Member]

I’m sorry it takes me so long to reply to comments – the notifications aren’t working.

Well a woman coming into play changes everything. A couple of people have said how more relaxed and calm I am now that I’ve met Mel. She’s very good for me, and I’m happy that the sex-driven honeymoon period seems to be going on longer than I expected!

And I hardly think with what you’re putting up with you can describe yourself as a bastard. I just read your posts in wonder at your patience and selflessness for the boyos.

Sun 31st October 2021 @ 13:47 Reply to this comment

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looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person

M / 58 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.

There are plenty of bastards who drink moderately. Of course, I don't consider them to be people. They are not our comrades.
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I am here to change my life. I am here to force myself to change my life.
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Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
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