Gay Nazi Sex Vicar in Schoolgirl Knickers Vice Disco Lawnmower Shock!
« I urinate on a train and in a liftThere is a man in my room in the middle of the night »


  Wed 3rd August 2022

On Saturday evening I spent twenty minutes with a policeman at Temple Meads station, trying to cut the lock off my scooter. Someone had tried to steal it (from the racks outside the BTP station!) by using the scooter itself to twist the lock off. They didn't succeed, but the barrel was damaged in a way that the key wouldn't go fully, preventing its unlocking.

I had gone into the BTP office after I saw my scooter upended and the lock bent, simply to report the attempted theft and to warn them that someone who looks like me will be coming down tomorrow with an angle grinder to get the lock off.

The man on the desk heard my tale and came outside. After failing to make any impression on the lock with a pair of yard-long bolt croppers, he managed to unbend the twisted shackle back enough into straightness so that he could get the key in and release the lock. The strength required to do so this was considerable. I was impressed that a policeman was helping me release a vehicle that is illegal to use on public roads.

He told me that they had two people in custody who were caught that day attempting to steal bikes from Temple Meads. The next day, I saw a lock at the other cycle park at Temple Meads twisted in a similar way to how mine had been left -- but dangling open, without a shackle nor attached to a bike. My scooter survived with only with a few scratches. I was glad that I'd got an expensive Kryptonite lock rather than the Wilko crap and crossed fingers I normally rely on.

Had a right one on the train yesterday.

Rainbow coloured straw hat, rainbow jumper, and a belt with "No Pronouns" written on its buckle. He asked me if we had any oat milk, but before I could answer he told me how he has a lactose intolerance (really? how interesting, do tell me more - and he did), and normally takes five or six sugars but today he'll only have four. "No sorry mate, I've only got ordinary milk." Would you like a smack in the face instead?

The guard came down to check tickets. Rainbow Man started pestering him, regressing into a spoilt and needy child. He was demanding a taxi, because he'd spent too much time gazing at his non-binary navel to realise that giving yourself three minutes to change at Swansea isn't enough. He exuded entitlement. Or the air of some rich cunt, in the phrase which will later be used to describe him as we retell the story to colleagues.

The guard beckoned me over into the next carriage. "I've rung Swansea," he said, "and told them he's a pain in the arse."

Later, I checked, and noted to my pleasure that the train to Llanffychym left bang on on time and so it's likely he would have had to spend two hours wandering around Swansea trying to find an oat milk vegan biodynamic understanding latte. Although I imagine he rang his mummy and got her to pay the taxi.

Current reading is Of Human Bondage. There is, suggests a character, a certain dignity in forgetting. "It is better to have learned and lost, than never to have learned at all." Pessoa also has an epigram somewhere about the value of failure, or of resignation after trying -- even half-heartedly. It must be a much older idea, but it's especially apposite in this age of striving.


Comment from: Scarlet [Visitor]

I didn’t know that there was a facility to demand a taxi on the train?! I will have to try it one day.
Sorry to hear about the scooter being assaulted, but pleased that no harm was done.

Thu 4th August 2022 @ 13:49 Reply to this comment
Comment from: Looby [Visitor]

Well, I suppose you could trying turning on your Devonian female charm, but can’t demanding a taxi because you haven’t allowed enough time to change trains will get you nowhere slowly.

Fri 5th August 2022 @ 15:19 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

Scooter/bicycle thieves need kicked square in the bollocks!

and i’d like to take a ride on the train you work on after eating a giant cannabis cookie like i did leaving Amsterdam years ago… i’d be the guy giggling yet frightened, lol! when you ask if i’d like anything i’d just sorta grin and look around, a bit Syd Barrett-ish…

and No Pronouns Belt Buckle smells of the classic Trustafari… aka trust fund kid now grown… a winner of the birth lottery… i’d call them a bastard but i’m not sure if that’s gender neutral haha!

Mon 8th August 2022 @ 13:42 Reply to this comment
Comment from: Looby [Visitor]

I’m sure I could accidentally open a couple of beers on the train by mistake and therefore have to give you them for free :)

Thu 11th August 2022 @ 09:20 Reply to this comment
Comment from: monkey man [Visitor]

How long ago now is it that the police decriminalized you?

Thu 11th August 2022 @ 20:22 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Hello MM, apologies for the late reply. Computer woes (mechanical failure, not theft).

Well, as the luscious and unavailable Wendy said to me once “I don’t know how you get away with being you.”

Sun 21st August 2022 @ 09:06 Reply to this comment
Comment from: exile on pain street [Visitor]

I read ‘Of Human Bondage’ decades ago when I was a young free-thinker. I wonder how it would go down now? Books you read as a pup are markedly different when you reread them as an adult. Holden Caulfield sounds like a big baby to me now.

Sat 27th August 2022 @ 22:28 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Yes definitely you can have a different experience with a book at different ages. We were launched into The Mayor of Casterbridge at school when I was fifteen, which was too early.

I have tried with Catcher in the Rye, because it’s one of Kirsty’s favourite books, but I just could not get into it. I found it boring, which is about the worst possible thing you can say about a book. It’s worse than not liking it.

Tue 30th August 2022 @ 09:46 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

You know some of us shut-ins begin to worry about you when you don’t post ;)

Sat 10th September 2022 @ 13:48 Reply to this comment
Comment from: 63mago [Visitor]

Did something go wrong with that bondage thing ?

Mon 12th September 2022 @ 15:29 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Normal service will be resumed shortly. My computer died, and this ‘kin working full-time bollocks is really getting in the way!

Wed 21st September 2022 @ 23:43 Reply to this comment

Form is loading...

looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person

M / 60 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.

There are plenty of bastards who drink moderately. Of course, I don't consider them to be people. They are not our comrades.
Sergei Korovin, quoted in Pavel Krusanov, The Blue Book of the Alcoholic

I am here to change my life. I am here to force myself to change my life.
Chinese man I met during Freshers Week at Lancaster University, 2008

The more democratised art becomes, the more we recognise in it our own mediocrity.
James Meek

Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
Turgenev, Fathers and Sons

I hate the iPod; I hate the idea that music is such a personal thing that you can just stick some earplugs in your ears and have an experience with music. Music is a social phenomenon.
Jeremy Wagner

La vie poetique has its pleasures, and readings--ideally a long way from home--are one of them. I can pretend to be George Szirtes.
George Szirtes

Using words well is a social virtue. Use 'fortuitous' once more to mean 'fortunate' and you move an English word another step towards the dustbin. If your mistake took hold, no-one who valued clarity would be able to use the word again.
John Whale

One good thing about being a Marxist is that you don't have to pretend to like work.
Terry Eagleton, What Is A Novel?, Lancaster University, 1 Feb 2010

The working man is a fucking loser.
Mick, The Golden Lion, Lancaster, 21 Mar 2011

The Comfort of Strangers

23.1.16: Big clearout of the defunct and dormant and dull
16.1.19: Further pruning

If your comment box looks like this, I'm afraid I sometimes can't be bothered with all that palarver just to leave a comment.

63 mago
Another Angry Voice
the asshat lounge
Clutter From The Gutter
Eryl Shields Ink
Exile on Pain Street
Fat Man On A Keyboard
gairnet provides: press of blll defunct, but retained for its quality
George Szirtes ditto
Infomaniac [NSFW]
The Joy of Bex
Laudator Temporis Acti
Leeds's Singing Organ-Grinder
The Most Difficult Thing Ever
Strange Flowers
Trailer Park Refugee
Wonky Words

"Just sit still and listen" - woman to teenage girl at Elliott Carter weekend, London 2006

Bristol New Music
Desiring Progress Collection of links only
The Rambler
Resonance FM
Sequenza 21
Sound and Music
Talking Musicology defunct, but retained

  XML Feeds

Complete website engine

©2024 by looby. Don't steal anything or you'll have a 9st arts graduate to deal with.

Contact | Help | b2evolution skin by Asevo | Open-Source CMS