Tue 15th March 2011

She brought the phone back. I wasn't in. I was down the pub, chatting to two friends about the Frances episode. She'd deleted all my texts to and from Linda, one with some information from a debt collector, the frisky texts to and from Denise, some from Kirsty about looking after our girls and several others.

She sent an email which hints that she might have used my phone to text Denise and Linda. Then, a few hours later, another to tell me that she's set up a filter to bin any email from me, and saying, with unconscious irony, that she'll delete any texts I might send her.

It's a shame because she could be good company. The sex was always good, and at times intense. Even just the other day I remember clasping her to me while she was on top of me, not wanting anything, the slightest thing, to change, delight and sex coursing through me, knowing it was special and rare.

My children were being funny this evening, saying how you can confuse irritating people by saying deliberately nonsensical things, and going on little riffs illustrating it. Melanie insisted on sitting there without a top on, both me and Kirsty unspokenly uncomfortable with her prepubescent breasts. "I'm expressing myself," she said, theatrically.

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looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person

M / 61 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.

There are plenty of bastards who drink moderately. Of course, I don't consider them to be people. They are not our comrades.
Sergei Korovin, quoted in Pavel Krusanov, The Blue Book of the Alcoholic

I am here to change my life. I am here to force myself to change my life.
Chinese man I met during Freshers Week at Lancaster University, 2008

The more democratised art becomes, the more we recognise in it our own mediocrity.
James Meek

Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
Turgenev, Fathers and Sons

I hate the iPod; I hate the idea that music is such a personal thing that you can just stick some earplugs in your ears and have an experience with music. Music is a social phenomenon.
Jeremy Wagner

La vie poetique has its pleasures, and readings--ideally a long way from home--are one of them. I can pretend to be George Szirtes.
George Szirtes

Using words well is a social virtue. Use 'fortuitous' once more to mean 'fortunate' and you move an English word another step towards the dustbin. If your mistake took hold, no-one who valued clarity would be able to use the word again.
John Whale

One good thing about being a Marxist is that you don't have to pretend to like work.
Terry Eagleton, What Is A Novel?, Lancaster University, 1 Feb 2010

The working man is a fucking loser.
Mick, The Golden Lion, Lancaster, 21 Mar 2011

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looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person

Rummage in my drawers

The Comfort of Strangers

"Just sit still and listen" - woman to teenage girl at Elliott Carter weekend, London 2006

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