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Spring has sprung

  Thu 29th March 2012

Muslim neighbour in the window opposite doing something practical with his windows while I blog with a glass of Syrah. This is why they will rule us in fifty years' time.

Bad idea

I tried chopping it up because it seemed to take a long time to come on in tablet form. Bad idea. It burns your nose.

I went round to Kirsty's last night, so that we could go to see Jenny in her show, a series of selections from musicals, at her school. It was a most professional show, a credit to the school. Her school is a rare thing nowadays, classless. Academics and bus driver parents mingled in the foyer.

The tickets said that you had to go in evening dress. None of us have evening dress, but Kirsty looked most sophisticated in her beaded creme and brown short-sleeved top and straight creased brown trousers. I thought I looked OK too in a narrowly tailored suit which I got when the University of L---- gave me my maintenance grant, most of which I spent on clothes and getting pissed in Glasgow.

Legally Blonde came on, and there was my daughter, in the chorus. I couldn't believe that my daughter could possibly get herself involved in such degrading sexist material. If she wants to be an actress, I want to see her in obscure university theatres in works by ignored C18th Austrian dramatists. But she was great, she's a natural. I straightened my back to attention, looking at Jenny on the stage and Kirsty with shared parental pride.

When we got home, I said about the lyrics. Jenny, in an exasperated tone, explained to me, as though I were a fool, that the dialogue in Legally Blonde is a pisstake. We got them up to bed and me and Kirsty had a bottle of wine. I like being part of my family.


I'm banned from all Marks and Spencers in the UK after a misunderstanding of the provisions of the Theft Act, but I went into there tonight anyway and found a Herefordshire cider. It's been in the fridge for a bit and I will drink it now. "Single variety", it says on the label. Single variety is very rarely a recommendation in cider. It's good that they're trying though.


I've decided to delete the bit that was here last night. Not really fair on the other person, and have started worrying now in case she finds the blog. Probably not presenting my best side in this post!

12 comments

Yes, they may well be ruling us, but we can get pissed.

I’m a bit worried about exactly what you’re trying to put up your nose in chopped up form.
Vimto?
MDMA?
Viogra?
Offal?

It’s lovely to see your children on stage. Children can be so natural; no hidden agenda, no “message” they’re trying to project.

*Pride*

Misunderstanding?
Theft Act?
Sorry, but I thought that under the “Code of the Crim” shoplifting from M&S was forbidden because Crim’s have got better taste and style.

I like the sound of “Misanthropic". You may have scored here, big time.
Let us know if she fulfills the second line of your criteria. The bit after the age, but before the advanced degree.

Thu 29th March 2012 @ 18:07

BTW, I tried to post a comment about 10 times, and it kept rejecting the attempt, saying I was posting spam.

That’s why it’s now spelled Viogra

Thu 29th March 2012 @ 18:09
Comment from: [Member]

Sorry to not comment on your post but FUCKING HELL… she sends 1) a mobile number and 2) a suggestion for a meeting early next week.

(Dances around room in ridiculous over-imagining of intellectual cum dirty cum laughy cum girlfriendy thing)

Thu 29th March 2012 @ 20:34
Comment from: [Member]

when seeing my children perform, it was everything i could do to sit on my hands and refrain from standing up yelling “THAT’S MY KID!". whether it was an elementary school choral production, a skateboard demonstration, or my daughter teaching a class of Turkish adults how to speak english… never goes away.

the lady sounds promising – but it’s wise to not get too far ahead of things. relax. be cool. be honest. and see what happens… i’ve always found the introductory bits to be a good bit of fun!

Thu 29th March 2012 @ 23:57
Comment from: young at heart [Visitor]

oh my…..sex and drugs and …..banned from M&S….you do paint quite the picture!!

Fri 30th March 2012 @ 09:59
Comment from: young at heart [Visitor]

aaaah….it worked!! Why is it most of the time my carefully crafted and increadibly funny comments never ever get through the high-tech security???? I do try…..honest!!

Fri 30th March 2012 @ 10:02
Comment from: [Member]

Thanks for keeping on trying with your comment TSB.

Unfortunately I am burdened with refined tastes I can’t always afford to indulge, thus the resort to more innovative methods by which to do this. But it didn’t work out - turned out to be a very expensive bottle of Costière de Nîmes, which they didn’t even let me take home with me. Surely that’s illegal. How can you be fined for pinching something you aren’t not allowed to keep?

The Anthropologist looks (if photos on dating sites can be believed) gorgeous but I will report fully later on.

I deleted the phrase “beaming with pride” as it’s a cliché, but that’s how it felt.

I’m just going to try to stay calm with The Anthropologist and not make too much of it. But you honestly have no idea how rare a species this is to find in Lancaster.

Fri 30th March 2012 @ 10:04
Comment from: [Member]

Oh hello YAH! Just missed you! I’m not sure why you keep getting chucked out but I’m glad it’s working again.

Fri 30th March 2012 @ 10:07
Comment from: Furtheron [Visitor]

Certainly you do like the sex, drugs and musicals life don’t you

Fri 30th March 2012 @ 14:17
Comment from: [Member]

Legally Blonde. Hardcore.

Fri 30th March 2012 @ 21:29
Comment from: Redbookish [Visitor]

“But you honestly have no idea how rare a species this is to find in Lancaster.”

Huh! From a past full-time and now part-time female resident of Lancaster. Just huh!

Sat 31st March 2012 @ 22:38
Comment from: [Member]

Nothing to stop you and me having a pint one day then!

I’m not joking RB, it’s impossible meeting women round here. Until I started this internet dating malarkey, years would pass without the faintest flicker of interest from anyone. I mean, I’m utterly broke, a bit dodgy, bit of a druggie and a heavy drinker. Quite a catch by Lancaster standards.

Sun 1st April 2012 @ 08:02


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M / 56 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.


There are plenty of bastards who drink moderately. Of course, I don't consider them to be people. They are not our comrades.
Sergei Korovin, quoted in Pavel Krusanov, The Blue Book of the Alcoholic

I am here to change my life. I am here to force myself to change my life.
Chinese man I met during Freshers Week at Lancaster University, 2008

The more democratised art becomes, the more we recognise in it our own mediocrity.
James Meek

Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
Turgenev, Fathers and Sons

I hate the iPod; I hate the idea that music is such a personal thing that you can just stick some earplugs in your ears and have an experience with music. Music is a social phenomenon.
Jeremy Wagner

La vie poetique has its pleasures, and readings--ideally a long way from home--are one of them. I can pretend to be George Szirtes.
George Szirtes

Using words well is a social virtue. Use 'fortuitous' once more to mean 'fortunate' and you move an English word another step towards the dustbin. If your mistake took hold, no-one who valued clarity would be able to use the word again.
John Whale

One good thing about being a Marxist is that you don't have to pretend to like work.
Terry Eagleton, What Is A Novel?, Lancaster University, 1 Feb 2010

The working man is a fucking loser.
Mick, The Golden Lion, Lancaster, 21 Mar 2011

The Comfort of Strangers

23.1.16: Big clearout of the defunct and dormant and dull
16.1.19: Further pruning

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5:4
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