The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase

yes, there is an art. it requires a bit of sincerity. once you learn to fake that? you’ve got it made.

Faking sincerity doesn’t seem right. There’s no such thing as an authentic life.

IKWYM though - the subtle code of language and behaviour with a woman in which everything you say and do is a sign, is one I haven’t mastered.

You make going to a poetry reading sound like so much fun. I honestly think I’d prefer it to sitting for 2 hours on the toilet with raging gastro-enteritis mixed with a post vindaloo trauma. Well done.

Try listening to the lady’s answers. I’ve found that being genuinely interested in the person and their responses works wonders.

Was the lady with the pretty black hair well-stacked as well?

“Try listening to the lady’s answers. I’ve found that being genuinely interested in the person and their responses works wonders.”

Good advice after you’ve asked “Is this seat free?”

And not saying “Dear God, you’ve the most fantastic set of knockers.”

Mmm… something along those lines can come a bit later though.

I couldn’t actually see much of her rack because she was sort of leaning forward a bit and all her voluminous hair was flowing down her front.

See that. You’re never too old to be schooled. Lesson learned. Turn the page.

oh yes, I agree , a lovely poem, with lines to take the breath away

UB: Also, memo to self that is never heeded: Don’t approach girls when you’ve had a few. One or two, but not as much as I’d had by that time.

Isabelle: Yes, it’s beautiful - I’m ordering a cheap copy of the collected poems now.

i was being facetious. a “smart-ass", as we say here in the US of A.

a gift/curse that i have is the willingness to really engage someone - because i am interested in nearly all humans to some degree.

last night it led to an awkward situation. at a ‘roller derby’ party. a 30-something nerd-man, obviously by himself, was watching our group play games and flirt with the roller girls. i chatted him up. told him we were just fans having a good time. he said “i’ve beein going to their games since 2007. didn’t recognize you. thought you might be a new girl.” said “no. just a fan. but hey, you see seem like a very loyal fan!”

could not shake him for the next hour. after the first five minutes? i was convinced he wanted to skin me and turn me into a ‘girl suit’.

it’s a fine line.

yeah….we don’t go to a job interview or to look at a house we might want to buy off our tits but some how it seems appropriate when searching for a life-long-soul-mate….go figure!! Or maybe not as I am begining to learn……..

I wouldn’t have got as far as “is this seat free” - I have an innate inability to talk to anyone of the opposite sex… apart from my Mrs

DF: I had no idea what a roller derby was. What an interesting half an hour I’ve had looking into it. A feminist women-led appropriation of sport. Great. Not surprised it attracts men. Shame you got a bit collared.

YAH: Yes I agree but if as, everyone says, “just be yourself", well, that’s a bit tricky in my case because I’ve got to find someone who is happy with me being amiably pissed every day–certainly from about 2.00 onwards. That’s difficult. I hide it. And then suss out the ones who are OK with it (very, very few).

Furtheron: But how did you meet her then?

What is “yourself” anyway? I feel like I’m great at talking the talk to ingratiate myself, but even I don’t know who the real Homer is. Certainly my husband, my former colleagues, my current colleagues and my family would give very different answers.

I completely agree H… the advice “Be yourself” is one of the most nonsensical things I have ever heard. I like having different facets of my character which work best with different people.

And you have to pronounce it “durrby’ not “darby.” Having just come from the bluegrass of Kentucky, I feel I can pronounce it like an expert. Actually, Looby m’dear, you’d do well here in the US. They love a “Briddish” accent (they even think my odd Australian-English-RP one is echt Englisch) and contrary to popular belief, they do drink here (well, my friends anyway). So you’d have pretty polished shiny New YOrkers flocking around you, I bet.

I wouldn’t be above trading on my Englishness.