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Incompetent man is honest

  Fri 29th June 2012

For the last few days the washing machine hasn't been working, and I haven't had any money with which to repair it. Finally, I got the man round this afternoon. He took one look at what I had reported as a "broken knob", and pressed it. It sprang out with all the program letters reappearing. He fastracked it through a cycle and there's nothing wrong with it.

"God, I feel absolutely stupid," I said. He charged me a fiver but the greater cost was my manly humiliation. I really haven't a clue about anything mechanical. What do I have a clue about?

Something awkward has been looming with Trina, so after the washing machine incident, I thought I could further clear my Desk of Embarrassment by tackling an difficult subject head on.

[Petname]. As you know very well by now, I really want this to work out, in whatever way it does, and to give it the very best chance we can.

In order to do this, I want to make sure that I am as open and honest with you about things which we may have to approach as possible obstacles.

So, because the thing in question has reared its head about an hour ago, I wanted to tell you something before I see you again and just see what you thought about it.

I like cricket. The first One Day International against Australia began at 11am today and there's a very good chance (if the rain holds off) I'll be dashing away throughout the day to see how we're getting on against the convicts, sheep rustlers, handkerchief thieves and daytime TV soap actors.

I hope this won't stand in our way Trina. It was the way that you were so open about your liking for tennis that gave me the courage to say this.

She replied with a comment about ball tampering. I like this one.


Oooh, this'll be interesting. I've just seen a couple of Christian evangelists appear on our street, of which this end is about two-thirds Muslim. What a fucking insult. Some of my neighbours have that Arabic script, the meaning of which I don't know, but which clearly indicates their religion, over the front door. I'm going downstairs to tell them to piss off. They'll like that. Adds to their feeling of victimhood.

10 comments

Comment from: furtheron [Visitor]

There comes a time when all men have to admit to listening to test match special - I miss that I used to sneek it on whilst at my desk and then on the car drive home - my rail journey is underground a lot now so no chance there…

My daughter’s latest boyfriend is into cricket (in the local under 18s) so I’ve been trying to teach her. “Will he hate me if I can’t understand all this?” “No love. He’ll understand. Now a googly …” She goes into hysterical fits “I know what one of them is Dad"… What can you do?

Fri 29th June 2012 @ 14:46
Comment from: [Member]

I love TMS and lest I come across as a Johnny-Come-Lately, I first became been a member of Lancashire County Cricket Club when I was 14 and saw Viv Richards, Clive Lloyd, Farookh Engineer–a great introduction to the game.

I hope your daughter’s bf encourages her into cricket. How they run through boyfriends at that age though–I’ve got this to come.

My eldest, the sporty one, is showing a slight interest and I’m keen to encourage it. Cricket brings out the aesthete and sadist in me, the delight of watching one man wearing down another. Frustration, anger, domination, violence, and art–all there, six times an over.

Fri 29th June 2012 @ 16:31
Comment from: [Member]

a old friend from Milton Keynes tried once to explain cricket to me… eventually gave up when my glassy-eyed stare started to penetrate his very soul. here’s hoping Trina can accomodate.

Sat 30th June 2012 @ 02:27
Comment from: [Member]

It’s a game which most Americans will never understand–partly because of their generic inability to understand anything that happens beyond their own borders. The “World Series” that only the US plays exemplifies this attitude.

Also, an American can’t get that something that can go on for seven hours a day for five days, might not have a result, but can still be fascinating. Sport isn’t always about who “wins", who’s fastest, highest, longest.

Sat 30th June 2012 @ 15:43
Comment from: Redbookish [Visitor]

Oh, those happy clappies! I live (on the weekends) around the corner from one of the new churches sprung up in Quaker/Catholic recusant Lancaster. I tell them I’m Jewish when they call round.

Sun 1st July 2012 @ 10:52
Comment from: Kolley Kibber [Visitor]

Heh. I was stopped by a young pamphlet-toting evangelist a while back, and I informed him that I am an atheist. “You mean you don’t believe AT ALL?” was his horrified response. To which I replied that it was unwise and not a little insulting of him to confuse atheism with a lack of belief, for I do indeed have a very well-developed belief system which governs every moral and ethical choice I make in my daily, personal and professional life thanks very much. It just does not happen to involve a supernatural deity.

The stunned look on his face was gorgeous.

Mon 2nd July 2012 @ 18:20

It’s the worst kind of insult to your manhood. Only impotence can match it for humiliation.

It’s astonishing that someone thinks they can knock on a door and get the person who answers to simply change a lifetime of spiritual beliefs. It’s crazy and shameful behavior. Mormons are among the worst offenders and we might have a Mormon president soon!

Mon 2nd July 2012 @ 22:21
Comment from: [Member]

RB: I didn’t get down to the door soon enough. Probably best.

KK: Well said, and well rewarded.

UB: They’re doing it to make themselves feel better, not seriuosly to convert, I thinnk.

Tue 3rd July 2012 @ 18:11

Sorry looby, I recknn there’s more of a chance I’ll become a practicing christian than enjoying cricket.

Both so boring.

Wed 4th July 2012 @ 05:34
Comment from: [Member]

Eeeh, you’ve not lived till you’ve sat for six-and-a-half hours on a wet Tuesday in May as a midtable county game grinds inevitably to an inconsequential draw…

Wed 4th July 2012 @ 09:09


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