Ashes to ashes

Almost agree with your wishes for departing this “Vale of Tears”

What’s wrong with cremation?
It has the same effect on the mortal remains as does rotting in the ground, just a lot faster.

I hate the thought of cremation too. I don’t like the thought of your hair catching fire. Although it could be watching Diamonds are Forever at a formative age.

My friend is an amateur archaeologist and the pit they’re digging this month has already revealed two medieval skeletons. It’s quite moving to see them under a bog standard cow field in the next village.

TSB: No it doesn’t, it’s entirely different. Cremation reduces you to a phial of ashes (which are often mixed up anyway, so “Mum” is often actually some bloke you’ve never known.) And why would you want to get rid of someone quickly? You’ve known him, you’ve had drinks with him, you’ve procreated with him, her–and then you burn them? It’s revolting, the nearest thing to murder that’s allowable by law.

H: What an interesting thing to discover. All these people put into body-burning ovens are doing a great disservice to archaeology.

Your thoughts on cremation v burial reminded me of a lovely interview a couple of weeks ago on radio 4 with a woman who had cavorted about with her mothers body in her camper van. She took her to the supermarket,the seaside, to say goodbye to old friends, to all the places she hadn’t been able to get to for years; before burying her in a farmers field somewhere outside Harrogate.

My condolences. Your sensei is gone, although at 70 years old it’s not *that* sudden. That’s exactly how I want to go too.

Cremation is considered a necessary and dignified end in some cultures. In India the widows used to throw themselves onto their husband’s pyre! Who are we to judge?

Isabelle: What a great story. Wonder if she propped up in the passenger seat?

Ideally, I’d like to be buried beneath the awe-inspiring oak tree which was outside my window on the farm where I lived for eight years, but getting the permission from such a conservative man as the farmer is would be nigh on impossible.

UB: Sod cultural relativism, certain things that other cultures do are just wrong, and suttee is one of them. I realise that funereal practices are determined by climate first of all, and that in India you don’t want bodies hanging around too long. But that doesn’t excuse encouraging a wife onto a pyre.

Editor’s note: We apologise for the misspelling of “cemetery” in early editions of this article.

sorry for the loss of your friend - although it is shocking to those of us left behind when it is so sudden, i suspect it is the least painful way for someone to hit the end, and like you, appreciate it when some of us get out with our dignity mostly intact…

i had been horrified when my atheist friend, who used the call sign “recreational blasphemy” was posthumously subjected to a full catholic mass at his funeral. fortunately, he didn’t have to sit through it…

Of ways to die, I wouldn’t mind pinching that for mine.

Whilst I’m fairly sure my family would respect my wishes, I do need to spell it out in black and white to avoid the fate of your friend. It’s so unfair and selfish, a hijacking of someone’s wishes and life and outlook, when they’re not really in a position to object!

Condolences, looby. However close a death, it always tends to sharpen the mind on these things.

Yes, I am constantly aware of my own mortality. The practical reminders seem to come more and more frequently.