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Not on the Irish Sea
At the moment, Trina and I should be roughly here
on this romantically-named ship, the Ben-my-chree, or "Girl of My Heart"
and trying not to waste good Prosecco by vomiting it into the Irish Sea on what would have been a bit of a lively crossing, as it's wet and windy here today, even ashore.
At 7.40 this morning I got a text. "Very bad news I'm afraid." The relative who was due to look after Trina's mum in her absence has bad diarrhoea which he contracted in Granada at the weekend. First they come and walk five abreast with rucksacks, speaking their bastard version of Portuguese; now they send us their colds. I feel flat, free time which I'd rather not have. All my problems come back now.
Trina, noticing that I was moistened in parts after the Cross Bay Walk, bought me a brand new, proper, outdoor jacket off ebay. I've never had such a thing before, as my flânerie from bar opening to poetry reading to gallery preview requires only my pure new wool grey jacket, £15 from Tatty Bon in Glasgow. But for breasting heavy Manx rain, I need my pressie from Trina, with its little drawing of a jagged mountain and the word "titanium" on the inside label.
So, instead of pictures from Ben-my-chree and Ellan Vannin, I will leave you with a two-part miscellany.
I work as a receptionist at Really Late. I find that I know, on an acquaintance level, about two-thirds of the people who seek counselling. I have been trained in this and I know I must behave exactly towards such people as I did before I started working for Really Late. That's easier said than done for someone like me with his relentless personal curiosity.
I like working at Really Late. I empathise with its aims and I have a silent compassion for the clients. The counsellors are political, aiming to change behaviour with words and ideas, but with a sense of their limits, where other agencies might need to get involved; but they play no part in the economy of Narcissism that exists in an over-educated city like Lancaster, where unqualified Merry-Andrews leech on people with no material problems, in order to talk vicariously about themselves. Unlike bloggers, of course.
So as I sit here drinking the poor man's champagne, and missing Trina very much, wishing I could nuzzle her, wanting her fingers curling round the back of my ear, she turning me feline as she strokes the nape of my neck, and wishing we could half-shout down the prom against a hooded soundtrack of spattered raindrops, and have a mediocre meal in a pub in Douglas with swirly carpets and bored staff--I will leave you with what I think is the best joke, or perhaps, piece of English self-commentary, of the year so far.
An amateur group of Islamic filmmakers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ. It is believed to be so offensive that St Peter's church in Shrewsbury have postponed their tea and cake morning until Wednesday week, and Dorothy Green from Margate has written in to Points of View. When will the madness end?
6 comments
Bit of a downer having to miss that trip. I hope that you and Trina have only postponed and not cancelled.
I too used to suffer from an intense personal curiosity, but I once asked too many questions and was cured by a punch in the face.
HAHA, I like the analogy, although I doubt that most C of E parishioners would get excited enough by ANYTHING to actually postpone a tea and cake morning. I bet it was seed cake.
para 2: Not surprised you got a thump. People bridle at personal questions up there, thinking all the time “Is he trying to find out whether I’m a Tim or a Proddy?” not realising that no-one south of Motherwell gives a shit. I like Glasgow but it is a bit backward, like rightwing Islam with lager.
The holiday–Trina rang the hotel and the ferry company, and got it all sorted to change it to 5-7 Nov (when the Irish Sea is famously calm and the weather is balmy). I text Kirsty to tell her this, and relax, whilst still missing Trina.
Then Kirsty informs me that I’d forgotten that I’ve got the girls all that week while she’s in Italy. Bugger!
hoping you can get things sorted and rescheduled… nothing like a good holiday to cure whatever ails you (unless you are prone to seasickness, that is).
“Unlike bloggers, of course.”
*snort*
We’ll do our best to reschedule but I can’t see how we can do it this year now unfortunately.
I’ve never heard of Really Late. I had to Google it but came up answerless. Mind your international audience, please. Can you believe Google is a verb?
Absence makes the heart softer and the nether regions harder. Yes, I went there.
Sorry for the confusion but because of the type of work it does it’s best I take a conservative view of their code of conduct and keep any discussions away from search engines. However, the link’s in your email.
I’m a little surprised how much I’m missing Trina this week.
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