Cumbernauld, where this train terminates

Ack. You pillock.
Maybe try one more text.
Sx

Tried one more email. Nope. “I can’t see any future for us” … “The things you said hit me like physical blows” etc. I was just being honest and open.

I should probably report my gut reaction, muttered to J: “He’s a knob!”

For fuck’s sake, L, this is the happiest I’ve known you in 8 years, don’t throw it away lightly.

And have just realised I read it wrong - so SHE’S ended things? Wow, I did not see that coming.

Yes, she ended it. I don’t want to. I’m not going to reproduce her email of an hour ago, but it’s a big big no to any further contact. It’s such a shame. We got on so well, the sex was fantastic, we like so many things.

Well, ok a little bit of it went:

“I can just see no happy future for us after this hedonistic period comes to an end. You are just so unbending in the things you want. I find it unacceptable that I will end up hanging round waiting until you are free to see me. That just isn’t a caring, committed relationship in my eyes.”

Etc.

Oh that’s a damn shame Looby, I really didn’t see that coming- at all (although with the benefit of hindsight those words exchanged after the all-night disco were ominous). It was obviously brilliant with Trina while it lasted, and maybe if it was going to end, better sudden and uncompromising (very uncompromising!) than, I don’t know, long drawn out and bitter and acrimonious. This way the only memories are good ones, right?. Sorry, I know none of this will be any consolation right now. Just sorry to hear the news, really.

(oh- and by the way I don’t think the town planners of postwar Western Scotland have exactly done anything to rescue their already tarnished reputation here either- a can’t help thinking the onslaught of brutalist archtecture may have somehow contributed to the uncompromising tone of what followed….)

i was prepared to offer some snarky commentary on the most depressing shopping centre on planet earth… and like the others, did not see this ending in the works.

the good news? neither of you are confused about what you want and need. and you have both effectively communicated those wants/needs to each other. and sadly, there is no overlap in the Venn diagrams, beyond the initial hedonism.

that said? ouch.

J: Thanks–I’m not prepared to give up on it just like that though. I’ve sent her another email this morning saying that I really don’t want all this to disappear just like that.

Maybe if we’d gone to Edinburgh or Bath it wouldn’t have happened :)

DF: Thanks–we’ve got to find that little overlapping bit, if at all possible.

I’m glad you’ve written to her again. Can’t you try and bend a bit more? Compromise isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I see it as a sign of an open mind. Good luck ! x

The shopping center looks like a die cast foundry in the iron bound neighborhood back in the Cleveland of my youth.

I can assure you that you’ve not heard the last from her. You might have heard from her already, for all I know. These things never end that quickly. It takes more than the snap of a finger or a flick of a light switch. I hope you’re not sad. If you are, I hope it abates quickly. You’ve got to hand it to her. She knows what she wants.

Like Daisy I was going to make a comment on the architecture… seems all meaningless.

You are a berk dear boy - obviously what you said in Glasgow was not at all what she wanted to hear.

I do admire her for being very clear about it. She did want more commitment from you than you at least when needing to so the world the hard Looby image are prepared to give.

Just looked at Scarlet’s comment and in agreement - you pillock!

I wouldn’t give up. Some time and space but then try contact again and say you’ve been reflecting and this and that… You can’t let this one go, like regular readers I thought this was the “Looby skips off into the sunset to a chorus of violins hand in hand with the love of his life” moment…

UB: You’re dead right, that wasn’t the last I heard from her.

F: Point taken, but I don’t see that not wanting to live with someone is a lack of committment. However–there have been developments.

Sorry to hear about the tribulations, Looby. I read it first at work yesterday but the typical preponderance of the word “fuck” made me reluctant to sit there spending time responding.

Good luck with the recent developments. I hope they’re more attractive than Cumbernauld’s.

We’re out the other side now, both of the Brutalist postwar shopping centre and the emotional choppy waters.

Next time, we’re playing safe–she’s suggested a couple of days in Turin. I think she might be hinting she’s had her fill of “interesting” architecture for a bit.

Cumbernauld?? FFS. That toon is the a’hole of Lanarkshire, Scotland, possibly ‘the world’. Not even Motherwell comes near.

Having taken her there you surely deserve the knock back. Plus - and this is where you men really need to sit up and take note - you really thought all that shit about ‘not wanting anything domestic’ etc would make her feel valued? Ugh. I despair.

However it does sound honest. Maybe that’s something.

Hello Yvonne and nice to see a new face round here.

I don’t know why not wanting anything domestic should make a woman feel unvalued. I just don’t get it. Thousands of people live apart and have successful relationships. I’m still very not keen on the idea and like having time to myself too much, and to spend time with friends with whom Trina wouldn’t get on.

Hope to see you again (here, not in Motherwell!)