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Not for the first time, I am interpellated by a loon
20 comments
after 7 or 8 years of fairly constant companionship with Studley, i try very hard not to assume he wants to join me on adventures. If there’s an event i want to attend, i will invite him, but remind him that he is under no obligation to join me. on occasion – especially if he has to be nice to assholes as part of a charity fundraiser – he will decline and say he’d rather stay home and have a wank. and i am GOOD with that response. my worst nightmare is that he is with me out of a sense of obligation, rather than interest.
i do think you’re right about explaining this to Trina. she did make it sound as though she is gifting you your time… that would have sent up many flags for me as well…
as for batty, territorial chair woman? sometimes the “look. blink. blink again.” treatment is best… and we move on…
Yes, good counsel DF. A little conversation is looming. The good bits are worth preserving; just not with the stifling surroundings. I hope you carry on with what sounds like a successful negotiation of your time with Studley.
The lunatic amused me, with her egotism of imagining I was after her. She’s best left alone. She’s a raddled looking borderline alky (er…)
“If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.”
I’ve always been careful to avoid the L word, but that shouldn’t rule out some good times together.
Always good to have a bit of Auden in the morning though.
I feel bad for Larry. Do you think he knows this about himself? Or suspects?
This is all coming to a sad end, isn’t it? It ran it’s course. If it ends, if she decides to flee, don’t pursue her.
The best retorts always show up a day or two late.
People like Larry are blessed with the lack of self-knowledge that leads to happiness. I’m fairly sure he doesn’t know why he has so few friends.
I don’t think necessarily it’s coming to an end–I would like to keep the many good bits. I just know she’ll go off in a massive strop of insecurity when I mention it.
Obviously, Trina doesn’t read your blog. Does she know about it?
No, and fortunately she isn’t really into computers much. I’m not sure she even knows what blogging is. I know the IP ranges she uses, and she certainly doesn’t know how to spoof them or to use a VPN, etc.
Yes, blogging like this can be a dangerous game. But I’m not interested in posting pictures of my meals and dull-as-fuck accounts of my wonderful holiday with wonderful friends where we discovered a wonderful restuarant.
Good for you then. I predict sooner or later you will have to face the situation. I hope a peaceful conversation works to make things clear.
Yes Leni–that’s what we need to do, just straighten things out in a civilised manner. However, I am can see trouble ahead. I think there’ll be tears.
She will have to face the situation as well, Leni. As far back as I can remember, a few posts ago Looby explained to her what was it going to be like. And she accepted the rules.
You surely don’t want to call it relationship, right Looby?
I have done my best never to mislead Trina. I have told her that I have never loved anyone in the sense in which the word is commonly used, and that I think “love” is a social construct which organises a culturally and historically specific set of responses to involuntary biochemical reactions.
I do think it’s a relationship of sorts, in a fairly basic sense of that word. It’s her that constantly wants to make it into something which it isn’t, constantly going on about how “special” it is.
No it’s not, it’s just two people who met on the internet and are now (for the most part) having a good time together enjoying several shared interests – including a joint sine qua non – going out dancing to house music. Why can’t we be happy with that?
It’s a fault line between, a crack we’re constantly papering over. I wish we could just STFU about “the relationship.” Don’t know, don’t care, but do you fancy another bottle of wine?
Oh, you’re so full of sociological bullshit, you bloody ponce.
I hope we’ve known each other long enough to realise I’m smiling fondly as I type that.
I can think of no-one I would more like to puncture my bubble of academic toss than you. And I don’t say that to every bird I meet.
Even though I haven’t known you for very long, if at all, I tend to agree with Suzy. In a nice way, of course.
While I admire your honesty about the situation with Trina I disagree with your idea and interpretation of love being a social construct. If I were nit picking I’d say it’s really about language and how we use it to describe the world.
You put me in mind of Simone de Beauvoir when she said ‘I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself’.
Well, for whatever reasons I just haven’t ever felt it, in the way other people describe it. Pure selfishness and self-absorbtion are good candidates for keeping it at bay, I suppose.
I enjoy your blog because you are so honest. I asked you that question about Trina because I suddenly imagined her reading how you feel about your relationship.
hi…..re-your comment…..sorry but my tech-no-knowledge prohibits any changes….someone else set it up am afraid…..!!!
F: Yes, my pompous airs and graces don’t last long round Ms Southwold.
Jo: Thanks – I have to tell it all to someone :)
YAH: Not to worry, I’ll carry on commenting using the blogging abomination that is Wordpress :)
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