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Savvan cants

  Sun 1st June 2014

Midnight, and the students in the street are yelling their heads off as a prelude for going out to drink themselves into desexualised miniskirts and tonguing Facebooked selfies. There's no youth cultures any more. It's us middleaged people who are the subculturists now. I wish I could move out of this area. Loud students, burka'd Muslims, a thin sellotape of politeness our flimsy bond. I'd like to live near Kirsty, where we feed each other's cats and children.

Tomorrow I'm off to a posh hotel in Glasgow with Donna. We've agreed on a No Sex rule, which doesn't mean "no sex"; it just means no rodding. I welcome this, for constraints in sex make you more inventive.

Another advantage of the Rule is that I won't have to cope again with the unpleasant surprise she gave me the other night. We'd been out dancing, both a bit pissed, I was e-ing and speeding and amorous... we got back to mine and cosied down into the futon and started snogging. She's an exciting and violent kisser who forces my mouth gapingly wide open. I find it exciting both because of the pure physical sensation and because the power relation that her way of kissing forces on me is ambiguous. I'm looking forward to more of the same tomorrow. But the other night, during a stroky wandering of my fingers, I made an unwelcome discovery: she'd shaved her cunt.

I withdrew my hand slowly. It put me right off. Why would you deprive yourself of that lovely silky, wet, glistening, slidey sensation that cunt hair affords, as you or your lover strokes and kisses and licks your cunt? I'd never, in my life, been to bed with a woman who shaves her cunt. She gets paid loads of money and is Southern, which I'm sure has something to do with it. I love the black, slippery hairs of a woman's cunt. It's part of what makes her cunt her cunt.

This afternoon we had a bit of a do upstairs at the Borough for a friend of mine who died last week. He was a member of the Communist Party and a good drinker (which is how I met him). The tables in the pub were covered with old Lancaster University magazines from the early 70s and various literary magazines in which he'd been published, but most touchingly, letters from old pupils from when he was an English teacher.

It was a good afternoon but I left wanting air. I don't want all these readings and tributes and cheese and crackers when I go. I dodged out of it for an hour and went down Wetherspoons to read a bit more of The Sea, The Sea. It's my book club choice for this month and I don't think anyone will like it.

"Norrr... not for a bit. He's brok his fucking wrist. He were trying to jump over a fence, cos then he wouldn't have to go round, and he fell, and he put his wrist out -- down -- an he's fucking brok it."


Shaving your privates is part of the middleaged subculture. That’s the truth. Men do it, too.

Mon 2nd June 2014 @ 11:50
Comment from: [Member]

Well, it’s a new one on me, I’ve never encountered it before, and if anyone thinks I’m ever going to shave my man’s area…

Do you not think that by doing it, we’re agreeing to the demands of porn? As if that’s what we must look like?

Mon 2nd June 2014 @ 22:47
Comment from: furtheron [Visitor]

For once Looby I feel I’m ahead of the game in something on the seedier side of life…

As Exile says, somewhere in the last 10, 20, 30 years this became de rigueur for those over a certain age who aren’t like those of us luckily enough to be blessed with long term relationships.

I was talking to a close female friend who had split up with her boyfriend of a few months recently. I asked her any regrets about that - “No” she replied. Then scratched her crotch and said “except being back on the market means I’m back to having to shave every day again"…

I’m like you I don’t understand why a mature woman wants those bits to look like a prepubescent girl… that is lost on me on so many levels… like most of your blog! haha

Tue 3rd June 2014 @ 14:51
Comment from: [Member]

Well, if women feel they have to do that then it’s a sad day in the pornification of our love lives. It’s horrible. It looks weird, and it makes stroking a lovely part of a woman’s body feel like getting rasped by wire wool. What a ridiculous norm!

Tue 3rd June 2014 @ 15:53
Comment from: furtheron [Visitor]

I have to say I love my wife having that hair there. I love the feel to my fingers and the look of it as she gets wetter and wetter. When I go down do her the feel of that against my lips is one of the best feelings

Tue 3rd June 2014 @ 20:51
Comment from: [Member]

Exactly, this is one of the point of it. It’s soft and lovely, because of the cunty hairiness. Fucking hell, I am now officially old-fashioned, for not wanting a denuded cunt and feeling stubble against my lips. In fact, if me and Donna do get another date together, I’m going to ask if she could be kind enough to let it grow for a bit before.

Tue 3rd June 2014 @ 22:18
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

I’m going to be devil’s advocate: A shaved pussy is softer and you won’t eat hair -this is what I’ve been told when indulging my partners with my hairless charms-.

Oh come on guys, it’s not bad to have a little fun now and then. Just for a change.

Fri 6th June 2014 @ 14:58
Comment from: [Member]

It’s not softer! Softness comes from stroking those lovely wet hairs over her soft flesh, not from scraping a layer of your epidermis off your fingers and getting a razor burn over a mound of stubble.

Also, it looks very unpleasant and unnatural, it’s a dick softener. I don’t see how a woman shaving her cunt can be seen as a treat. I think it’s all about the influence of porn. I like porn but this is one terribly bad result of it.

Fri 6th June 2014 @ 19:32
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

Is it possible that your firewall, antispam or antivirus won’t let me write the words p*ssy and p*rn? I’ve been trying to send my reply for the last 10 minutes without results! :(

Sat 7th June 2014 @ 14:05
Comment from: [Member]

Pussy? Why are you talking about cats? :)

Sorry – I keep trying to turn this damn thing off and it keeps coming back.

I’m curious to know what you’re trying to say though :)

Sat 7th June 2014 @ 14:19
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

No worries, Looby. Asterisks work.

Definitely, it must be an influence of porn. If not for men’s special requests, women wouldn’t shave their pussies. [Excuse the American language, people–Ed.]

My guess is that she just thought you would like that and went to the pussy-shaving ordeal only to please you. If I were you, I would feel flattered. ;)

Sat 7th June 2014 @ 14:36
Comment from: [Member]

Well, if that’s the case then that’s a well-intentioned thing to do. But it misses my visual and tactile preferences by a mile.

(I’m going to use my Executive powers to remove the asterisks in your comment. Even if you are using some strange words :) )

Sat 7th June 2014 @ 14:57
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

What? I thought p*ssy and p*rn were Burdish words …

PS.- Maybe it’s this Sandwichian dialect I speak. ;)

Sat 7th June 2014 @ 17:11
Comment from: [Member]

“Porn” is OK but “pussy” sounds very American.

Sat 7th June 2014 @ 18:17
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

So if I were in Burdishland and I were talking about my *points at her ***** down there* I would be supposedly talking about my cat? :))

Sun 8th June 2014 @ 10:03
Comment from: [Member]

I’m not sure in what context you’d be doing that :)

Sun 8th June 2014 @ 10:52
Comment from: Leni Qinan [Visitor]

When I meet Mr. Clooney and Mr. Pitt, for instance.

They won’t think I’m talking about my cat.

Tue 10th June 2014 @ 14:50

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looby, n.; pl. loobies. A lout; an awkward, stupid, clownish person

M / 58 / Bristol, "the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England" -- John Betjeman [1961, source eludes me].

"Looby is a left-wing intellectual who is obsessed with a) women's clothes and b) tits." -- Joy of Bex.

WLTM literate woman, 40-65. Must have nice tits, a PhD, and an mdma factory in the shed, although the first on its own will do in the short term.

There are plenty of bastards who drink moderately. Of course, I don't consider them to be people. They are not our comrades.
Sergei Korovin, quoted in Pavel Krusanov, The Blue Book of the Alcoholic

I am here to change my life. I am here to force myself to change my life.
Chinese man I met during Freshers Week at Lancaster University, 2008

The more democratised art becomes, the more we recognise in it our own mediocrity.
James Meek

Tell me, why is it that even when we are enjoying music, for instance, or a beautiful evening, or a conversation in agreeable company, it all seems no more than a hint of some infinite felicity existing apart somewhere, rather than actual happiness – such, I mean, as we ourselves can really possess?
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I hate the iPod; I hate the idea that music is such a personal thing that you can just stick some earplugs in your ears and have an experience with music. Music is a social phenomenon.
Jeremy Wagner

La vie poetique has its pleasures, and readings--ideally a long way from home--are one of them. I can pretend to be George Szirtes.
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Using words well is a social virtue. Use 'fortuitous' once more to mean 'fortunate' and you move an English word another step towards the dustbin. If your mistake took hold, no-one who valued clarity would be able to use the word again.
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One good thing about being a Marxist is that you don't have to pretend to like work.
Terry Eagleton, What Is A Novel?, Lancaster University, 1 Feb 2010

The working man is a fucking loser.
Mick, The Golden Lion, Lancaster, 21 Mar 2011

The Comfort of Strangers

23.1.16: Big clearout of the defunct and dormant and dull
16.1.19: Further pruning

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63 mago
Another Angry Voice
the asshat lounge
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Exile on Pain Street
Fat Man On A Keyboard
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