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The Bus Stop of Sex

  Thu 20th August 2020

Mel texts. "Still mortified for behaving like a wanton sex starved lush on a bus stop! No standards, obvs." I reply telling her that she's met another roué, and that I regret nothing.

I tell Kitty about the events at The Bus Stop of Sex. I tell her that it's made me feel even more sexually alert than I am normally. About the woman about my age in the cafe the other day, knitting, wearing a close-fitting lilac dress to below the knee, bare legs, dark blue wedges. I expect she had no idea how desirable she looked.

She says that I could suggest to Mel an afternoon in for when we meet again on Sunday. Cath would raise an objection putatively based on her fears about corona, but which perhaps might derive from her desire to monopolise my sexual attention. If she's moved to the new house by Sunday we could have the place to ourselves. If Cath is in, she'll let us know it, repeatedly.

Harry, inexplicably, is insufficiently excited by one of the sexiest women I know. Hayley is bored of a monotonous diet of cunnilingus. "I fake it now, to get it over with." He enlists my help in obtaining some pills to remedy his failing. As he seems unaware that it is possible to obtain them from any pharmacy or on the internet, I got him some and doubled the price. What a distasteful degradation: buying tablets to get another man's cock into a girl I want.

Sexy Ex-Boss at The Big House texts me to see how things are going. She says she's bored. I suggest we take advantage of the titteringly-named eat out to help out scheme. We meet in a pub garden with her husband and my fellow housekeeper, policed by young staff who take too much pleasure in telling us that standing up and going to other tables is not allowed.

I stand up and go to another table to enlist a young person's help with the app-based menu, which we can't work. Our little policeman scurries over and it's only with difficulty I restrain myself from telling him to fuck off.

There's something giddy about the night, encouraging disclosure. We have The Drug Talk, and I am not at all surprised at what I learn. Sexy Ex-Boss reminds me of the time when I was working there and came out of the toilet with a white-ringed nostril. "'Hayfever', you said. Yeah, hayfever in November."

She says that they haven't had sex for several years. They invite me back and we sit up doing coke, before I am invited to luxuriate in a vast bed in their elegant mid-C19th Italianate villa. I lay there, thinking about all these bright, witty, attractive women going to waste.

For the first time since moving here two years ago, a date. A couple of hours in the pub, chatting easily. She says how much she misses going dancing -- something I stress how much I enjoy on my profile. "There are two types of men," she says. "Those who dance and those who don't. My husband didn't."

Next day she says she doesn't want a second date as she lives too far away and the last bus to her village in Wales leaves too early. It's either true or at least she's made an effort with a plausible story.


Comment from: Jonathan [Visitor]

The woman does not know what she is missing! And the early bus thing is no excuse, does she not know you actually specialise in bus-stop based liaisons, so waiting for the last scheduled service across the border becomes possibly the most exciting part of the evening? You need to update your profile to reflect this niche offer, they will be queuing across the valleys!

Thu 20th August 2020 @ 17:20 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

Jonathan – you’ve got it. What woman wouldn’t want to be held all a-tremble as she waits for the last and unreliable bus to Chepstow?

Thu 20th August 2020 @ 20:38 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

Ah brilliant as usual my good man… and next time the fucking twit Harry needs boner pills triple the price and tell him it’s getting harder to come by… you can giggle at the double entendre ;) and thank me for my business acumen, lol!

Fri 21st August 2020 @ 13:52 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

He’s fucking me about. I got 4 for 12 so I’ve told him it’s 30, but now Hayley tells me that they’ve got some themselves! I am getting shafted here (and there’s a double entendre to match yours!) :)

Fri 21st August 2020 @ 18:52 Reply to this comment
Comment from: kono [Visitor]

What a wanker!! Holy Pun!! Hold onto those pills cuz eventually he’ll lose his connection and then he’ll be begging for the things, at which point the price goes up to 25 quid per pop, you can smile as you take his money and say “fuck you very much Harry.”

Sat 22nd August 2020 @ 01:48 Reply to this comment
Comment from: [Member]

It’s not cricket is it! Far worse than losing 12 quid (God I’ve lost a lot more than that over the years) is the disrespect they’ve shown me. I’m going to take it up with Harry today because you shouldn’t welsh like that. It’s the principle.

Sat 22nd August 2020 @ 08:34 Reply to this comment
Comment from: Scarlet [Visitor]

I will be peering at people at bus stops forever more.
Sounds like the recent humidity ramped up the hormones.

Sun 23rd August 2020 @ 13:30 Reply to this comment
Comment from: looby [Visitor]

There’s a documentary or an academic study waiting to be made about bus stop fondling.

Mon 24th August 2020 @ 13:53 Reply to this comment

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