Swallows

Threaten to dish the dirt on him on this hugely popular blog site thus rendering him the laughing stock of all England… Either that or just buy a new baseball bat ;-)

What hugely popular site? I’ve seen my stats you know :)

It is a bit unfortunate–he’s lost his job through no fault of his own–but they don’t reduce the bills because your lodger’s out of work.

Where do you find these idiot roommates? Seems to be an endless parade of half-wits. Wasn’t there a girl who stiffed you on the rent not long ago? You’d do right to contact mummy and daddy if things aren’t set right.

Yes–that was Gail, who lived here for a month, paying precisely £0.

This one was better, and while he had a job he was a good payer and kept out of my hair. You can’t plan for companies going under I suppose.

It’s just very difficult for me now. I have no savings or financial cushion at all to draw on when something like this happens.

I rent various properties, some commercial, some private dwellings, in and around Glasgow, Edinburgh, Sunderland, Middlesborough and Carlisle and have done for some time. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing. Now, after being stiffed a couple of times, I have a hard and fast rule. You pay my man on time, unless by prior arrangement, every time without fail. I have a few collectors who call monthly and combine their visit with a check of the property to ensure ‘my’ standards are met.

I am very fair, I set out my terms at the beginning of the let, always stipulating the rules and penalty of non payment. Miss once, you make contact with me. Miss twice and we make the contact. It’s very difficult picking up your fingers when they are already laying at your feet.

When I read your blog I’m often reminded of the sentiment behind the essay by Bertrand Russell, ‘In Praise of Idleness’. You’ve probably read it, but if you haven’t, I reckon you’d like it, it’s only short and it’s a great read.

I hope you manage to find something you like doing and get paid for it. If I won the lottery (if I did the lottery) I’d send you over a big wad of cash and hope for an invite to the party.

CF: I somehow can’t imagine many people looking forward to that “visit". I’m rather pathetic at anything approaching intimidation, being a lanky 9st arts graduate.

You inspect the properties once a month? That seems a bit much.

Isabelle: That’s very sweet of you and were that miraculous thing ever to happen we would have the finest party ever to take place on either side of the Pennines.

I’m sure I’ve read Russell’s essay in the distant past but that’s a great suggestion, thanks.

Kitty last year gave me a collection of essays by Scott called “An Apology for Idlers".

Once a month… My remedial repair costs for the entire portfolio last year amounted to £1890. I can live with that.

That sounds pretty good. I just wondered, from the tenant’s pov, whether having the agent poking around every month might seem a tad intrusive. But you’ve got far more experience than I, and I appear to be getting shafted–again.

Going slightly off topic, did you ever find out why the police were looking for Gail?

Hello Classy!

No I didn’t. I’m afraid that after that rather alarming 4am visit from the police and their van–they were obviously ready to take someone away with them–I found out from her careless settings on a social media site that she says she’s working in an amusement arcade. Nothing on there about trouble with the law though.

So no idea! If you see her, remind her she owes me 300 quid.

when i moved to my new place, i kept my old home as a rental property – knowing i would be a pushover for a hardluck story, i hired a property manager to be the ‘tough guy’, so i would never meet the lodgers. it worked reasonably well - but the stress drove me batty.

Yes, I wish the Chef was my enforcer :)